My Body Continually Betrays Me

Brace yourself, I’ve got another Debbie Downer post. 

Just when I thought I was on the slow road to recovery… my body decides to have one last “fuck you” moment.

I ran 6 miles yesterday.  While it was pain free, it was not free from my huffing and puffing.  Seriously – this hiatus from running has zapped my endurance.  Someone told me that their PT said that for every 2 weeks off of training, you lose 50% of your endurance.  Is this true?  That seems a bit extreme… although it corresponds with my current performance.

I ran 5 miles on a treadmill (the doc told me I should try to run on a treadmill as much as I can) on Tuesday with minor sluggishness.  It definitely was not easy but it was doable.  However, yesterday’s run nearly killed me.  By mile 4 I was drained of energy.

I, however, need to ramp up mileage.  I was not going to quit at 4 miles when I set out to do 6.  So I decided to take the opportunity and employ the Galloway Method of running/walking.  I’ve been reading over the different ratios that correspond with specific paces and decided to go for the 9 min/mi pace ratio.  I generally fall into the 10 min/mi pace but the run/walk ratio is 3 min run and 1 min walk.  That seems a bit excessive. 

The 9 min/mi pace ratio is 4 min run and 1 min walk.  I prefer working in chunks of 5. 

Holy hell it worked.  I was able to crank out the additional 2 miles and felt pretty good afterwards.  The 1 minute walk is the perfect amount of recovery time after 4 minutes of running.  The 4 minute chunks of running are perfect because the first 2 minutes go by quickly and when the next 2 start to get a little tough, you get to walk for a minute. 

I’m an official believer in the Galloway Method.  However, I can’t imagine following the 4 min run – 1 min walk ratio for 26.2 miles.  Anyone ever do this for the entirety of a marathon before?  Clearly I won’t be finishing the marathon under 5 hours.  I don’t even know if I’ll finish under 6.  But at least there’s hope of finishing.

My doc cleared me to run 8 miles on Saturday.  After employing the Galloway Method so successfully yesterday, I think I might push it to 10 miles. 

I’d really like to get in at least one 15-17 mile long run before the marathon (so that leaves me with next Saturday) so that I can go into the marathon with some degree of confidence that I won’t die or that my legs won’t fall off.

So while I’ve been hanging onto this glimmer of hope that I’ll actually be able to participate in the Philly marathon, my body decides that it’s going to strain my lower back muscle.  And yes, this is the same strain that sent me to the ER on Mother’s Day.

Last night, I was simply putting clothes away and turned my body only to be met with a pain that I can only describe as being stabbed in the back.  The pain sent me to my knees and freaked my dogs into whimpering uncontrollably (as though I had actually been stabbed).

It wasn’t as bad as needing to go to the ER but ugh, really?  I need to crank out some miles tomorrow and you really want to behave like a 3 year old throwing a temper tantrum, body? 

I’ve been icing it on and off all day and stretching it (with the stretches the previous doc told me to do).  Its slowly getting better but I’m hoping for a miraculous recovery by tonight.

I need Mr. Miyagi to run my back with his magic hands.

Thoughts on Being a Vegetarian

I’ll just go ahead and say it.  Being a vegetarian is hard. 

Now before you get all, “I knew it!  You want meat!”, that’s not what I meant.  I don’t miss meat.  I don’t crave is EVER.  What’s hard about being a vegetarian is that I feel like it’s a lifestyle that has to be defended constantly.  And you know what?  That shit gets old.

On top of feeling like you have to defend it to meat eaters, there are some vigilant vegetarians that irritate the crap out of me.  They also embarrass me because they sound insane sometimes.  Or they just sound like idiots. 

Look – I don’t push my vegetarianism down anyone’s throat so why do people feel the need to harass me about it?  Why do people question how I’m getting protein?  Just take a minute, look up the nutritional content on vegetables and then we’ll talk.  Believe me, I’m getting plenty of protein.

Or why is it that everyone has written me off as a dinner date?  My own mother has declared that its not fun to eat with me anymore.  Geezy peezy.

I’m not a vegan but I am transitioning.  I’ve cut most dairy from my diet.  My weakness comes in the form of desserts.  But you know what?  The reasons behind my switch to vegetarianism should compell me to cut out all animal products.  I can’t hide behind a weakness of sweets because that’s ridiculous.

So where is this coming from, right?  With the hub bub around Jonathan Safran Foer’s Eating Animals book and perhaps with the holidays coming up, I feel like I’ve seen more and more chatter about vegetarianism.

Bloggers are writing about it and the comments to their posts are more entertaining than reality tv.  They are also as embarrassing as having your mother show up to pick you up from school wearing a rice paddy hat (okay my mom has never done that but she is a fan of black shoes with white socks.  Who knew she liked Michael Jackson so much?)

Oftentimes, meat-eaters like to poke fun at the fanatical vegan ranting on and on about animal rights.  Look – clearly I went veg because I got all weepy and empathetic towards animals but I also know better than to try to convince the burger-lovin’ frat boy to accept my viewpoint. 

Aside from some of the crazy comments back and forth between vegs and non-vegs, I’ve had a few things said to me or that I’ve seen written by bloggers or friends about the topic.  I’m going to address a few now.

1) A friend posted on Facebook that he had been a vegetarian for 19 years (although if you’re reading this, you don’t eat vegetables!  I’m glad you don’t eat meat but you are the worst vegetarian I know!  Get some greens in your system before you turn into a cheese quesadilla.  haha).  One of the comments left was something along the lines of, “You were a vegetarian before it became trendy.”  I don’t know why this made me so mad but it did. 

Yes – the topic of vegetarianism is popping up all over the place but if it means that people aren’t eating animals, who the f cares?  This isn’t like discovering some awesome underground band that you want to keep to yourself.  This is about a lifestyle and I’m all for it becoming trendy.  At least being trendy could potentially mean more restaurants would offer good vegetarian meals!

2) There is a popular blogger that is a vegetarian.  S/he is known to be vegetarian and has said that s/he does not consume meat because s/he morally objects to it.  Okay – sure, me too.  But s/he isn’t vegan.  And this is where I struggle. 

I’m not going to knock this person for not being a vegan.  I’m slowly transitioning (as I mentioned above).

Anywho – what really gets my panties in a bunch about this particular blogger is that s/he had the audacity to preach moral viewpoints and rail against the organic and cage free marketing of farms but s/he is not a vegan.  If anything, egg-laying hens and dairy cows are almost treated worse than those that are slaughtered.  Hello?  Anyone in there?  Do you see your hypocrisy?  (and yes – I get that if I’m not a vegan, I’m just as much of a hypocrite.  But you know what?  I’m not shoveling moral viewpoints in your face.  Suck it.)

3) I am pretty open about the fact that if I have children, I will feed them a vegetarian diet.  You would be surprised by the number of people that seem almost offended that I would even consider such a thing.  I’ve been asked things like:
 How will they get enough protein?
 What are you going to do when they go to someone’s house?
But my favorite question (and I’ve had it from a number of people) is: Why wouldn’t you let them make the choice?

Okay.  I’m not a parent so I get that perhaps I don’t have the right to talk about parenting but here’s how I see it.  Parents are responsible for the well-being of their children.  Correct?  And I think that while eating meat is objectionable, my reasons for not eating animal products also has to do with a number of health issues.  Regardless… let my child make the choice?  I’m pretty sure if you polled a group of 5-10 year olds on what they wanted for dinner, they’d answer that they want junk food.  And I’m pretty sure that if you’re a responsible parent, you aren’t letting your kids eat cookies, cakes and candy as their primary source of calories.  That’s how I view being a parent. 

When my child is old enough to make an educated decision, I’m not going to disown them for wanting a hamburger.  I’m just never ever going to make it for them.

I could probably rattle on about this all day but that goes against my whole “I don’t want to shove it in your face” stance.  Clearly I don’t care if you eat meat.  I’m in the minority with my friends and it hasn’t stopped me from hanging out with them.

I think I’m just getting tired of defending my lifestyle choice.

Reality TV Chatter

I’ve mentioned several times that I’m a tv addict.  It is a sad life, I admit, but I love tv.  There are so many great shows as well as shows that were once great that I’m still holding onto (I’m looking at you, Grey’s Anatomy).

One of my guilty pleasures is reality tv although I think I’m one of the few people that does not watch The Bachelor, Survivor or The Biggest Loser (I only watch it in passing).  My favorite reality shows right now are:

• The Amazing Race
• Top Chef
• Project Runway (and Models of the Runway)
• The Real Housewives of [insert any of the cities except for Orange County]

If you notice, most of the shows are on Bravo (or stupid Lifetime).  Because I’m a tv addict and am dedicated to these shows (and get really really angry when people tweet or chat about it in their Facebook status before I’ve had a chance to watch the damn show), I thought I’d share some recent thoughts on the shows.

The Amazing Race

I still hold out hope that J and I will compete on this show.  I regret that I only got into the show last season because I’d like to see all of the past winners.  For this season, I was rooting for Zev and Justin.  I was really upset when they lost (they lost their passport!).  Now I’m rooting for Flight Time and Big Easy (from the Harlem Globetrotters). 

This past episode resulted in the departure of the 2 poker players, Maria and Tiffany.  They irritated me most of the show but I really couldn’t help but feel bad for Tiffany (the white girl).  I’m not sure when she was deemed the pack mule but she ended up doing EVERY physical challenge.  She always ended up being the one to carry heavy bags, push carts, etc. 

This last challenge was tough on them because it was a test of strength.  While I’m all for girl power – they really were at a disadvantage.  They just didn’t have the strength to complete the challenges (they tried both).  It was the first time I really felt bad for them – and a little irritated with Amazing Race for making such a requirement.

Top Chef

Natalie Portman was the guest judge!  I was chatting with T yesterday and we both admitted to having serious girl crushes on her.  I think Natalie Portman is GORGEOUS and she just seems so down to earth and awesome.  Wow – I sound really creepy right now.

I love that she’s a vegetarian too.  She recently posted a great article in The Huffington Post about why she went vegan (Jonathan Safran Foer’s Eating Animals Turned Me Vegan) – that book immediately went into my Amazon wishlist. 

So the challenge was that the chefs had to cook inventive vegetarian dinners for Natalie and her friends.  It was hilarious to see the chefs freak out and it was also refreshing to hear a celebrity vegetarian lament about the difficulties of going out to a restaurant and only being offered a mashup of side items. 

I was surprised that Mike was sent home.  He should have dominated this challenge since he runs a mediterranean tapas restaurant and he admitted that his mom was a vegan!  WTF?  I think he was sent home for (1) being cocky and (2) being an idiot.  When did leeks constitute a protein?  He tried to be clever but didn’t really think the challenge through.  Plus I think the show keeps Robin on for “drama”.

Project Runway

I’m going to admit it.  This is the first season where I don’t give a crap about any of the designers.  They bore me.  This season BORES me but I still tune in.  I’m not sure what changed.  Perhaps I hate that they’re filming in LA?  Or maybe I don’t find any of their designs exciting?  The designers, while most seem very nice (clearly I’m not talking about Meana Irena), are just so frickin’ boring.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

I don’t have much to say about The Real Housewives except that I went from loving NeNe to not really liking her at all this season.  When did she become such a turd and how can anyone be mean to Kandee?  Kandee is the nicest one on the damn show!

Wow – did this post bore you to tears?  I really just wanted to chat about these shows and not a lot of people I know watch all of the same shows as I do (most notably The Amazing Race and The Real Housewives).  I need more tv addicted friends!

On the Mend and a Rant about Elites

Saturday I took a chance and I ran.  Outside.  On pavement. 

Saturday was my scheduled 20 mile training run for Philly.  While my recovery from ITBS hasn’t been nearly as fast as I had hoped, I am showing improvement.  I’ve been focusing on keep my right foot straight when I walk (who knew I had such a gimpy gait?).  This new gait kept me pain-free for most of last week.

So Saturday I took a chance.  I swam 1300 yds/meters (I never know what the standard gym pool length is).  And hello?  That’s a HUGE improvement for me.  Remember my panic attacks in the water? 

On the way home from the gym – I decided I’d go for a run.  I packed all of my running stuff (Garmin, heartrate strap, running shoes…) just in case I felt up to it.

I drove to the start of the promenade that runs along the Inner Harbor (from Canton to the Inner Harbor).  And I went for it.

I ran 5 miles.  Pain free. 

I came home, showered, stretched, iced and spent the day doing a happy dance in my head.

My knee was pretty achy yesterday but I continued to ice it on and off all day and stretch it.  I have minimal pain today and even ran on the treadmill for a 1/2 mile at the physical therapist’s office.

I’m still very worried about being able to complete the Philly Marathon.  At this point, I think I’m going to have to employ the Galloway Method (running/walking) because I was pretty winded after a 5 mile run.  I guess that’s what taking 5 weeks off of running will do to you.

And have I mentioned that my ass is killing me?  I mean, it HURTS.  I told my PT this and he said it was a good sign that I was actually engaging my glutes like I’m supposed to.  So hooray for a sore ass.

SO with the NYC Marathon buzz going around, there was an article published in the NY Times recently regarding the popularity of marathons. 

Plodders Have a Place, but Is It in a Marathon?

If you’re not into running, I’m sure this post is uber boring but for those of you following my struggle with training… maybe you’ll find this interesting.

I read the article last week and I’ll admit that it completely killed my spirit.  I haven’t been able to train as I’d hoped due to injury and at this point, unless a miracle happens, I’ll definitely be posting a 5+ hr time on the marathon… maybe even over 6 hours. 

Reading that article and the comments by some of the “elite” runners really hurt my feelings.  How dare they accuse me of not trying.  How dare they belittle my training and my potential accomplishment because I’m slow.

I saw some tweets this morning about the article from runners and “healthy” bloggers and was almost appalled by some of their opinions.  Yes, stopping for lunch midway through a marathon probably isn’t ideal but whose to say that the person wasn’t about to pass out?  Maybe “sport beans” weren’t going to cut it.

My path to becoming a “runner” has been slow.  Its been hard.  But something that I’ve always appreciated was the sense of community I felt amongst other runners around Baltimore.  They didn’t care how slow I was during long runs.  I got tons of encouragement, advice and overall support from everyone (and these were people who have run tons of marathons and even a few ultras).  Even as I cried off and on during the Baltimore Marathon (where I was a volunteer) – I still felt an overwhelming sense of support from the other volunteers (who were also runners) that I was going to get through it.

Anywho – rant over.  It just saddens me that there is this big divide.  I’m trying just as hard as the next guy.  Just because I won’t be as fast as some people doesn’t mean that I’m not busting my ass. 

There were a few comments left on that article that made me feel better this morning and I’ll just say thank you to Greg from NY who wrote:

At the end of the day, we all cover the same course and get to enjoy our own experiences. Don’t diminish other peoples achievements just because you want to keep the bragging rights for yourself. Congratulations to anyone that has finished or is training to finish 26.2 miles. You’re all marathoners in my book.

And to First Timer from VA who wrote (I posted her entire comment because it was just THAT good):

How dare they. I am a first time marathoner and my dream is to finish at the 11 minute pace disrespected in this article. An over five hour finish is much more likely. I have been training for six months specifically for this this event, sacrificing time with friends and family not just to get in the requisite training miles but also in the name of rest and recovery. I have run before dawn, after dark, in the rain, in the hot of summer, in the recent cold spell, in near 100% humidity – you name the conditions and I’ve probably been out there along with the rest of my compatriates in my training program working towards this tremendous life goal. Despite all of the hard work and effort, I have fears that I won’t finish, or that something will happen along the course that I haven’t dealt with in my training and which I won’t know how to deal with, the result being that my finish time will be significantly slower than my goal. A six hour finish, while not my goal, is not out of the realm of possibility for me given the uncertainties that are inherent in any event (remember Chicago 2007 or Richmond 2008?)

To read the snide, dismissive comments of more physically gifted “elite” runners is not only disheartening, but disrespectful to every runner out on the course. It discredits the unbelievably demanding hard work – physical and mental – that we have put in through months and months of training. It discounts the dedication that we have shown, training run after training run, week after week. It belittles the discipline that we’ve had to impose; the willingness to lace up those shoes and hit the roads when really, we just wanted to take a day off; the 4:45am wake up call on a Saturday morning; the 8 – 9 mile run after putting in a full day at the office. It diminishes the support demonstrated by our families and significant others. They too have had to make adjustments in this process when we haven’t been around as much as we used to. And,for those of us in training programs, it disregards the incredible support of our coaches and teammates, fast and slow, who have so supportive and encouraging along this journey.

I do not know how my run will go. I know I will finish, if I have to walk the whole way. And if I do, I will do so with my head held high. I – thanks to the support of many – have earned this.

There were a ton of great comments but those really made my day. 

I’ve been trying to think of a clever shirt to wear (that will clearly have my name displayed, dammit!) during the Philly marathon.  Now I’m thinking it’ll say, “Fuck you, haters.”  It has a nice ring to it. 

Gratuitous Cute Dog Pictures

After we picked the dogs up from the vet last week – the office had adorned them with super cute Halloween neckerchiefs.  Love it!

Now if only I could decide what I want to be on Halloween (something that doesn’t involve slutty anything).

Stink Bomber

Active.com posted a funny article about the 10 most common types of runners.

I nodded my head in agreement for some of them (omg, I totally see that woman on the trail!  YES!  that guy totally freaks me out!) and then realized that I am a combination of 2 types:

The Human Cybertron

Typically the Human Cybertron runs with every possible electronic aid known to man sprouting from every orifice in their sweaty body. I’m amazed that they can even ponder so much data, with so much entertainment plugged into their ears on such a short run. I mean how much distance, speed, altitude, pace, heart rate, calorie, trajectory, target zone, sweat rate, and MP3 data can a person process in a few short hours?

The Stink Bomber

Sometimes the pre-race morning meal does not agree with the body in motion. I’m sure in the heat of battle we’ve all squeezed out a little “poot”. But not the Stink Bomber. This guy started farting at the age of one has has since gone to graduate school in the fine art of flatulance.

I run with my iPod, a heartrate strap, a Nike+ insert and a Garmin forerunner.  During marathon training, I started to run without my iPod and it was surprisingly calming.  Actually – I found that I only enjoyed runs without the iPod when I was running along a scenic route (NCR trail, along Loch Raven).  Running through the city stresses me out.  I think the sound of all the cars whizzing by trigger the feeling of road rage in me and I need to drown it out.

As for farting… there is something about running that forces me to fart.  Oh who am I kidding – movement makes me fart.  Breathing makes me fart.  Everything makes me fart!  The problem with running and farting is that no matter how hard you try, you can’t make the fart silent.  And then sometimes the farts come out to the rhythm of your footsteps (and that’s pretty entertaining).

So are you a runner that lets ‘em loose while you run?  Ever run near a farter? 

And a funny sidenote – I was walking to my car in a parking garage at work the other day and had to fart super badly.  I held it in throughout the building and couldn’t wait to get to my car to let it loose.  When I stepped into the garage, the coast appeared to be clear so I let it loose.  It was really really really loud.  Like honking loud. 

Then I took 2 more steps to see 2 associates smoking cigs.

Ha!  All I could do was laugh.

5 Years Ago

… the magic began.  What magic?  The magic between me and Jeremy.  Ha!  It seems kind of crazy that we’ve been married for half of that time.  To some, it seems like we kind of jumped right into a lifetime committment but to us it just made sense.

So let me set the scene of our magic making.  A week prior, I had laid the ground work unknowingly.  I had my eye on Jeremy for a bit (especially when I heard he was a good smoocher from another friend… and yes, he made out with a friend of mine.  And no, it’s actually not weird at all – it’s hilarious!). 

So how did I unknowingly lay the ground work?  I got completely drunk and made an ass out of myself.  I think this just proves that I am an adorably drunk (and not the annoying drunk who vomits all over the side of her husband’s car after a wedding.  Oh wait – I am.  I guess that’s what getting married does to a gal).

I spent the week scheming on how I was going to hook Jeremy.  I deemed him my pet project.

Jeremy apparently declared that he was going to pursue me.

We made plans (group plans) to hit up some absurd happy hour at a bar in Canton ($1 Miller Lites!).  We stuck around well past our friends and even ducked into a dive bar for a bit.  And then the awkward invite into my house.

I think I might have said something along the lines of hating my roommate’s cat and that it puked in my room.  I said it left a stain on my carpet and did he want to see it.  I’ve got some sweet moves.

And after an all night smooch-fest, I took him home the next morning and high-fived him goodbye.  To say it was awkward is an understatement.

But here we are five years later… sitting on the sofa, watching a DVR’ed “Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” and chowing down on a fabulous vegan mexican chocolate cake that I made.

Admitting Defeat

I have not run in four weeks.

The Philadelphia Marathon is less than one month away. 

I have missed the four very important endurance building training runs.

I have spent a good amount of money going to ART therapy three times a week for the last 2 1/2 weeks.

My knee pain is not anywhere near where it was when I first went to therapy.  I can walk up and down stairs with no pain.  I can bike with no pain.  I can swim with no pain.

I cannot, however, use the elliptical machine 2 days in a row without experiencing residual pain later in the day.

I’m spiraling down into a deeper depression about this.  While it seems absolutely absurd to be upset about NOT running 26.2 miles (because the idea of running that just seems insane), I just can’t help but feel sad.  I feel lost.  I set a goal.  I trained smart.  I didn’t push myself too hard.  I stretched.  I iced.  I did everything right.

So why me?  Why is this pain so awful?  Why won’t my body just listen to my brain and just do what I want it to do?  Yes – I get that this isn’t the end of the world.  I can still walk.  I still have my health.  But I just don’t know how to explain it.  This was something I really wanted to do.  And yes, there’s always other marathons… but see, I have plans.  I have timelines and things I had planned to do.  I needed to do this next month.  I needed to cross off this list item to feel accomplished.

One month of no running.  I’m about to enter week 5 of no running.  And then according to the marathon training guide, I’m supposed to taper.  Taper?!  From what?  I haven’t run.  My longest training run was 13.1 miles.  I did it.  I felt good.  Is that enough to take me through to the marathon?

I mean, at what point do I admit defeat?  I know I should… I just can’t.  The idea of quitting upsets me beyond words.  I’m actually not able to sleep because I’m just obsessing over this.  I’m beginning to loathe runners when I see them merrily jogging down the street on a beautiful autumn day.  I am filled with rage when someone tries to “relate” to my pain when what they experienced was either (1) nowhere near the pain I am experiencing or (2) they had to take a year off of running. 

My ART therapist believes that I’ll still be able to run the marathon.  In his words I “won’t be setting any records” but feels that it is totally reasonable to think I’ll make it through the marathon.  Is he just blowing smoke up my ass so that I continue to pay for his services?  Or is he really exercising his medical opinion?  He’s a super nice guy so I want to believe him… i really do.  But I’ve missed a month of training. 

Yarg.  Ugh. Blah. Grr!  I just want to scream.  I want to punch someone. 

What’s even more annoying is that the Philadelphia marathon offers NO deferrments.  Their downgrade (moving to a shorter distance race) requirement was Sept 30th. 

I am just beyond frustrated at this point.  But I am not ready to admit defeat.

Pee Diddy

Sorry – no video of Jeremy trying to catch Emily’s pee.  The Wednesday night, I decided that I should probably help Jeremy with the pee catching task since I leave the house much earlier than he does so helping him Thursday wouldn’t have been an option.

It was dark so I took a flashlight.  Jeremy took a ladle.

As Emily would walk onto the grass and start to sniff (signs that she’s getting ready to go) – Jeremy would step closer to her with ladle in hand.

And it always freaked her out.  She’s sniff, start to squat and Jeremy would step closer and she’d jump and run away.

I told Jeremy he had to catch her once she was peeing and then just said something like, “Give me the damn ladle.”

About a minute later, Em squated and I quickly moved the ladle under her “stream” and caught her pee. 

Success!

Jeremy help out the little tupperware container and I poured Em’s pee into it.  Jeremy gagged the entire time.  (Really?  You pick up their poop but their pee makees you gag? Amateur.)

At this point, I declared while waving my arms that “I am the PEE MASTER!”.  I also forgot that I had a ladle that had just caught urine.

Wouldn’t you know – I flung Em’s pee all over myself.

Whatev – I’m still the pee master.  Or Pee Diddy as a co-worker so cleverly stated.

We picked Emily and Petie up last night and it was heartbreaking.  Jeremy got the call that Petie needed to have 4 teeth pulled, not just the one we had anticipated.  Jeremy got another call later stating that Petie came out of the anesthesia quickly and was very alert.  All good signs for a 12 year old dog.

When we picked them up, they were shaking badly.  They had adorable little Halloween handkerchiefs around their necks but that didn’t mask their horribly swollen mouths and tear soaked faces.

And yes – my dogs were crying.  I don’t mean whimpering.  I mean tears were rolling out of their eyes.  Okay – I’m exaggerating but Petie had a giant tear come out of his eye and Em’s eyes were completely soaked.  Can you guess what happened next?  Yes, I cried. 

I’m going to be the weeniest mother.

Aanywho – the vet said that they could only have soft food and that we weren’t allowed to let them chew on any toys (common sense).  She warned that they may bleed but not to freak out (unless it is gushing but she said that probably won’t happen).

After paying the $2,150 bill (another heartbreaking moment for me) – we left.  Em and Petie whimpered the entire way home.  The whimpered when we got home.  And Emily cried off and on all night.

Jeremy worked from home today to make sure the dogs are okay.  He called me at work to let me know that Petie had apparently bled on our sheets.  Not terribly… but enough to make my heart sink a little more.

So there you have it.  They’re okay albeit mad at us for putting them through the torture.  I tried to take a picture of them to show how swollen their mouths were but they started to cry so we stopped.  They don’t really like getting their picture taken in general so I’m sure after having endured a traumatizing day – the last thing they needed was a giant camera in their faces.

Because of that, I’m going to post cute pictures of them…

My babies.

Contagious Rotten Teeth

I know I’ve written about my dental woes but now it seems that rotten teeth are contagious in my household.

No, Jeremy still has perfect teeth (that annoying turd) but my doggies both have some problems.

We took Petie & Emily for their annual exam.  And wouldn’t you know it also happened to be their 3 year vaccination anniversary!  Let’s just say that this visit was not cheap (despite having pet insurance).

The vet started her exam and as soon as she looked at Petie’s teeth, she sort of gasped.  Not in a judgemental way but in a “wow – his teeth are BAD” kind of way.  Mind you – every vet visit always yielded compliments on how well their teeth look so this caught us completely off guard.

Petie has a rotten incisor.  And the teeth on that side of his mouth are completely covered in buildup from not chewing on that side.

We didn’t even notice. 

Emily was next and we were sure nothing would be wrong with her.  I mean, Petie is 12 years old so perhaps rotting teeth just come with age? 

The vet opened Em’s mouth and said, “she’s got 2 broken teeth!”

Um, what? 

She showed Jeremy and wouldn’t you know… Em’s got 2 broken molars.

I said that she hasn’t shown any signs of pain.  Neither she nor Petie hesitate to eat or whimper when chewing. 

Regardless – pulling a rotton incisor isn’t terribly expensive (according to the vet but I beg to differ)… its the molars that are costly.  We have to have all of these bad teeth pulled or they could lead to infection… and that could lead to death and I am not ready for that.

Plus – what kind of vegetarian/animal lover would I be if I denied the health of my pets?!

We got a “rough” estimate of the dental work (rough because they won’t know just how difficult it will be to pull Em’s molars until they try) and its about $2k. 

Ouch.

They also have to be put under and that freaks me out.  Did I mention that Petie is 12?  Emily is 9.  They’re not young pups.

Another fun part of this process is that we have to provide urine samples.  Petie won’t be a problem but Emily?  She squats.  And she spooks easily.  We’ll be chasing her around the yard with a ladel to catch her pee tomorrow morning.  Fun stuff!

Anyone ever “catch” a urine sample from their female dog?  Any tips?  Or should I just try to video record Jeremy collecting urine and post it to the blog?