A Blurb from a Wannabe Runner

A quick note – Jeremy felt that my last post portrayed him to be a bit of an asshole. I told him it was because he WAS being a bit of an asshole but regardless, he really isn’t. He is, however, really really competitive and doesn’t care if he’s competing against someone who is clearly not in the same shape as him. Just ask him about his high school wrestling career and you’ll understand…

Now onto this blog post.

I’ve been obsessing over running long distance races this year. I don’t know why. The last 5k I ran left me with very sore knees, hips and shins. The longest race distance I’ve ever run IN MY LIFE has been 5 miles and I did that in December.

There is something about the closeness of turning 30 that has sent me into a panic. I’m not where I thought I’d be and by that, I basically mean that I thought I’d have at least a baby by now. I’m so NOT ready but for some reason feel the need to accomplish some great thing to prove that I did something amazing (that didn’t involve plopping out a 10-lb living being from my lady parts). It started with the triathlon and now I’m starting to dream bigger (or I want to physically punish myself more… I haven’t figured it out yet).

Reading stories in Runner’s World (especially this one about Matt Long or watching some cast-off from the Biggest Loser cross a marathon finish line (okay – he lied but he still ran a large portion of it!)… these stories make me want to run.  I’m convinced that I’m now in the closest physical position I’ll ever be in to attempt such feats as a half marathon or even a *gasp* full marathon.  And by physical position I mean that I can run at least 5 miles, don’t have babies and my life will end when I turn 30 next year. It’s now or never.

Yesterday I spent some time looking up the race times of people I knew… and that led me down a rabbit hole of discovering a bunch of people I know (including a lot of TURDS) that have run half marathons. These are people I have never considered “runners” and they’ve outrun me? UGH.

I registered for a 10k race in May (http://www.zooma.com) and that would be my longest run in history. I keep getting e-mails about the Baltimore 10-miler in June and I’m teetering back and forth. 10 miles? 10 consecutive miles? In June?! Ugh…

I can do this… I can do this… I can do this…

While I am worried about the Iron Girl triathlon in August, the actual running portion is only 3.4 miles. I’m sure after swimming 0.62 miles and biking 17 miles, I’ll hate my life… but there’s something about running a really long distance that just seems totally different to me. I have sworn to more people than I can remember that if I successfully complete the Iron Girl triathlon without committing suicide mid-way, I’ll sign up for the Baltimore Half Marathon in October.

I’m just so scared of failure.

I can do this… I can do this… I can do this…

8 Comments

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8 responses to “A Blurb from a Wannabe Runner

  1. Meredith

    I seem to have committed to run a 10K this summer with my cousin. It will kind of be like me trying to keep up with Jeremy in a race. Either way I’m completely scared! But I have no doubt you will kick some major ass in that triathlon!!

    PS I’m still recovering from the Shamrock as well!

    Meredith – I know you’ll do just fine in the 10k! Give yourself some credit – you totally kicked my ass in the Shamrock run.

  2. Don’t freak about thirty. I did, a little. But seriously, it’s awesome. I’m 32 now, and I would not even consider going back to my twenties, were it possible. When you’re in your thirties there’s just something substantial about it. Embrace it. :)

    Allie – thanks! I’m trying not to be such a drama queen about it. Hopefully it’ll be fabulous.

  3. I don’t know, I think you’re pretty effing amazing. Just reading your posts usually makes me feel lazy. All your workouts and running and craziness. I think you’re pretty awesome and you can totally do this.

    Thank you! I feel like such a faker most of the time but seriously – your comment is getting me psyched about registering for the 10-miler.

  4. Meredith

    Let’s clear one thing up lady…my time was all of what, 11 seconds faster than yours in the Shamrock…hardly constitues an ‘ass-kicking’. You’re being too hard on yourself…you totally kicked ass and I fully expect you to beat me in the next race since you are way more hardcore than me :-)

    Hahaha! You should try this 10-miler with me!

  5. DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!!!
    Apply some of your fears and nervous energy to running. You can totally do it. You’ll be my hero. Seriously.

    PS. I’m just a year younger than you and I’ve been thinking about some of the same things–reaching a milestone age and evaluating where life is. It can be really hard. Don’t worry about complaining. You’re just trying to figure it all out, like we all are, and I totally relate.

    I think the whole age thing really hit me when I truly thought I was turning 28 this year… where did the year go?!

  6. I should add that I’m kinda ok with 30. After all, people will finally take me seriously. I’ve been [insert age here] going on 30 for my entire life.

    You make a good point about being taken seriously… although I wonder if that’ll ever happen with me!

  7. Beth

    I think you’ll do great running your long distance- going to try to Marine Corps Marathon with Paul?!?!
    Also, I just wanted to assure you that with almost 100% certainty, I can promise you that you and Jeremy will NOT make a 10 lb baby. That’s huge. Try 6-7 lbs. While that is still daunting especially considering the “lady parts” part, it should make you feel a little better! (?)

    You CAN do it! You CAN do it!

    Thanks for the vote of confidence, Beth!

    And a baby coming out of lady parts is scary in general – no matter the weight! :-)

  8. Running down hill puts more stress on the body. Specially the knees! I made a rule to now only run races that were flat or mostly up hill as my knees cannot take the down hill stress any longer.

    I’ve definitely noticed the difference in my knees after running downhill or even running at a 0% incline on the treadmill for too long. Ugh – does this mean I’m old?

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