Okay – enough is enough. I get that I’m going through a “tri-life” crisis and have started to put myself through ridiculous physical tests to prove that I’m still young and sprite but really… I am only 29 fucking years old. But I have had 2 incidents where young folk have made me feel like I’m old enough to be their grandmother.
Incident 1:
I was chatting with a younger guy at my gym. The guy is roughly 24 (if I had to guess) and has recently changed profession. Upon discussing new career, I inquired why he chose that particular profession. He mentioned that he applied to several graduate programs and was denied admittance. I asked if he was going to keep trying for the graduate program and he responded with the following:
I don’t know. I mean – if I do get into a program, I’d be like 25 and that means I wouldn’t graduate until I was like 28… and that is just so old.
Blank stare. Um… wtf? I am clearly older than you! I blinked a few times and finally said, “I want to punch you in the face right now.” Still nothing. He had no clue.
Incident 2:
Graduate school already makes me feel old but I generally take comfort in knowing that I’m not the oldest person in my classes. I can guarantee that there is at least one person older than me at all times (and I’m not just talking about the professor). New class, new team. I was chatting with a young dude in my new team as we were leaving class and here is how the conversation went:
Young Dude: So how far are you into the program?
Me: This is actually my last semester.
YD: Wow, really? How many semesters have you been in the program?
Me: 5. I take 2 classes a semester.
YD: Hmm. When did you finish undergrad?
Me: [long pause] 2002.
YD. Oh! Wow. Huh…. [looong pause]. I’m a young buck compared to you.
W.T.F. I mean, do I smell like formaldehyde and Depends?! It turns out this guy is 23. TWENTY-THREE!
As if I didn’t feel bad enough about almost turning 30…
I think I should just give up at this point and trade in my fabulous sunglasses for those crazy oversized blublockers and pinch the cheeks of everyone I know.
I called a friend yesterday to vent about incident 2 and declared that I am getting crunk this weekend, dammit! Although I’m sure I’d be drinking wine or a nice single malt scotch over cheap booze.
God, even in my declaration of whooping it up, I manage to age myself.
That’s brutal. I don’t think you’re old!!!
Also, I absolutely love that you said “I want to punch you in the face right now.” Thank you.
I kind of wished I would have actually punched that kid in the face! 29 is not old!
My 30-year old brother made a crack about my age last week. Um, hello? You are only 17 months younger than me! Next time I am totally stealing your ‘I want to punch you in the face right now’ line except I might actually follow thru!!
I think there should be a movement to actually punch people in the face when they say stupid stuff to you.
In regards to Incident #2 – think of the economy, what choice do a lot of these babies have these days. If they see grad school in their future, they are hopping on the train asap. and you are NOT old – says the 31 year old who truly feels that she is now in the prime of her life. =)
But doesn’t 23 just seem like it was so long ago?
I totally agree about the grad school train. I kind of wished I would have taken a similar approach to school!
And I hope I’m in the prime of my life!
One way I make myself feel better about my advanced age (I’ve got 9 years on you) is that I’m smarter, make more money and dress better than most of these insensitive twits. And do you really want to go back to being 23?
I can’t even remember what 23 was like (but I do remember making MUCH smaller salary).
I like your perspective! And you do dress fabulously.
You definitely already know the best part about being older (a.k.a. not early twenties): Good alchohol. Thank god for that!
Haha! Sometimes I look back on some of the crap I used to drink in my early twenties and can’t believe I survived…
When I read both your incidents, my first thought was actually that I was impressed that they both thought you were close to their age. Don’t be depressed that you’re almost 30; be psyched that you’re flauntin’ it like you’re 24! Seriously, I’ll be ecstatic if I look half as good as you do at 29.
You guys should move to Baltimore. You do wonders for my ego!
I’m going to be 29 in a couple months, and I gotta be honest, I don’t feel old at all. It’s true I’m not where I want to be career-wise, but that’s not an age thing, it’s because I feel stuck in my job and I’m not sure where to go. Stop feeling old, because if you feel old then I should feel old, and I don’t feel old, so let’s just not be old ok?
Ha! It’s a deal. We are not old!