Stink Bomber

Active.com posted a funny article about the 10 most common types of runners.

I nodded my head in agreement for some of them (omg, I totally see that woman on the trail!  YES!  that guy totally freaks me out!) and then realized that I am a combination of 2 types:

The Human Cybertron

Typically the Human Cybertron runs with every possible electronic aid known to man sprouting from every orifice in their sweaty body. I’m amazed that they can even ponder so much data, with so much entertainment plugged into their ears on such a short run. I mean how much distance, speed, altitude, pace, heart rate, calorie, trajectory, target zone, sweat rate, and MP3 data can a person process in a few short hours?

The Stink Bomber

Sometimes the pre-race morning meal does not agree with the body in motion. I’m sure in the heat of battle we’ve all squeezed out a little “poot”. But not the Stink Bomber. This guy started farting at the age of one has has since gone to graduate school in the fine art of flatulance.

I run with my iPod, a heartrate strap, a Nike+ insert and a Garmin forerunner.  During marathon training, I started to run without my iPod and it was surprisingly calming.  Actually – I found that I only enjoyed runs without the iPod when I was running along a scenic route (NCR trail, along Loch Raven).  Running through the city stresses me out.  I think the sound of all the cars whizzing by trigger the feeling of road rage in me and I need to drown it out.

As for farting… there is something about running that forces me to fart.  Oh who am I kidding – movement makes me fart.  Breathing makes me fart.  Everything makes me fart!  The problem with running and farting is that no matter how hard you try, you can’t make the fart silent.  And then sometimes the farts come out to the rhythm of your footsteps (and that’s pretty entertaining).

So are you a runner that lets ‘em loose while you run?  Ever run near a farter? 

And a funny sidenote – I was walking to my car in a parking garage at work the other day and had to fart super badly.  I held it in throughout the building and couldn’t wait to get to my car to let it loose.  When I stepped into the garage, the coast appeared to be clear so I let it loose.  It was really really really loud.  Like honking loud. 

Then I took 2 more steps to see 2 associates smoking cigs.

Ha!  All I could do was laugh.

5 Comments

Filed under Charm City Kim Runs

5 responses to “Stink Bomber

  1. Kt

    Ian farts a lot when he runs. He sometimes comes back from a long run and tells me funny stories about his farting. Lovely.

    Haha! So Ian and I should probably never run together?

  2. In acting class in college, we had to pretend we had really bad gas once as an exercise. Seriously. I paid an insane amount of tuition money to pretend I had gas. Actually having gas is free.

    This comment just made my day!

  3. This just made me laugh so hard in a really, really trying week.
    I needed that.
    You win!

    Good!

  4. Did the coworkers laugh too? Or were they disgusted and haven’t talked to you since? I hope the former.

    I didn’t know them so I have no idea! I just laughed and quickly walked to my car. :-)

  5. ReinventingAmy

    that’s hilarious! my coworker was just telling us yesterday she had to poop after lunch and was in the restroom and other people had walked in as well and wouldn’t leave and were farting, so she just let it drop. haha.

    hahahaha!!! that is hilarious!! I think when other women fart in the bathroom, I’ve got the green light to let loose.

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