“Boy, when you’re dead, they really fix you up…”

“Boy, when you’re dead, they really fix you up.  I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something.  Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery.  People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap.  Who wants flowers when you’re dead?  Nobody.“  -J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, 1945

I’ll admit that I am terrified of death.  The idea of ceasing to exist totally freaks me out. 

I am also terrified of loved ones dying.

With all of that said, however, I just don’t understand funerals.

Jeremy’s great aunt died over the weekend.  She lived to 91!  She had also been living with Alzheimer’s for the last 15 years.

Tonight was the viewing.  Jeremy wasn’t particularly close to his aunt and I had never met her.  I think Jeremy’s parents’ had accepted that she was going to pass soon and while they seemed a bit sad – I think they agreed she’s “in a better place”.  However, we spent the evening chatting in the funeral home by a dead body.

Hello?

The idea of a viewing is so strange to me.   People passing in and out of a room to stare at a dead body.  It just doesn’t make sense.

And then I learned you have to pick all this crap out for yourself!  You pick your coffin, what you’ll be wearing, weird knick-knacks to be displayed… and for what?  I can’t imagine that my loved ones want to hold on to a guestbook from my funeral.

More than ever, I am completely sure that I just want Jeremy to throw my body in the woods.  He keeps insisting that he will not do anything illegal (this whole law school thing has turned him into such a lame-o) – so I want him to build me a cheap pine box (or find a good large canvas bag) and throw me into the woods.  Just kick me down a hill.  I don’t want a funeral.  I don’t want to pick out my cemetary plot.  I don’t want to think about what I’ll be wearing when I’m thrown into the ground.

I realize that funerals are more for the living than they are for the dead but it all just seems so strange to me.

Snow Craziness

I am SO happy that a lot of the crazy snow piles have melted.  Just as a quick recap – here are a couple pics of the snow:

This wasn’t even the peak of the snow.  My car is buried on the left.  The piles are as high as Jeremy!

This is a shot of our roof (from our backyard).  We were concerned that when the snow melted, it would take down all of those wires you see attached to my house.

So do you see where I’m going with this?  While I’m stoked about the snow melting, we were right.  Not only did the snow come crashing down from our roof – it took the wires with it:

I came home to that scene on Thursday.  The chunks of snow on the ground?  ICE.  It broke our planter and our fence!  It also tore down our gutters. 

I was relieved that our power was still working (as was our cable) so I had no frickin’ idea what these lines were.  I called BGE to report “downed wires” (thinking this would be a priority) and they never came that day.  I called the city non-emergency line (thinking this would be a City concern) and they told me that it wasn’t their job.  Thanks, Baltimore.

BGE came the next day and left a note on the wire stating it wasn’t a BGE line and that we should call our phone company.  I just want this shit fixed.  The worst part is that damage left a huge gaping hole into my dipshit neighbor’s yard.  Now they have a window by which to antagonize my dogs or throw in their underwear.  Fun fun.

V-Day Recap

Oh Valentine’s Day… I know that everyone hates this holiday but I won’t lie – I enjoy any holiday that requires Jeremy to do something special for me.  (Though some could argue he should do something special for me every day).  I know V-day is a 2-way street but I’m lucky to have a husband that doesn’t give a crap about getting anything.

A week or so before V-day (and before the big snow) – I asked if we were exchanging gifts.  I was truly okay with not exchanging gifts but was surprised when J-bird gave the green light. 

I, not so subtlety, left a catalog laying around with a few items of interest circled.  Jeremy didn’t give me any hints.  I usually just buy him some candy and call it a day.

Jeremy had to work on V-day but I woke up to him making me pancakes (yippee!) and a cute homemade card about how “Snow-em-gee” prevented him from getting a card and a gift… and then some sappy message about love.

I gave him a card with 2 dogs on the cover that stated “Love means…”  (open card) “Never having to say, “who farted?”

He also clipped a picture of my gift:

A silver cocktail ring that I’ve been drooling over for a few months.  It isn’t here yet (it is on backorder) but I was filled with warm fuzzies knowing that my husband knew the thing I wanted most.  Actually, to quote him “you’ve been talking about a stupid cocktail ring for a few months now.  I knew what you wanted.”

Aw.

And here’s a picture of Emily watching me eat because this is the face I always see whenever I’m eating.  My dogs are beggars!  It doesn’t help that I usually give them little nibbles of food (I’m a terrible dog owner) but how can you say no to this face?

Later that night we went out to dinner at an asian tapas restaurant in Fell’s Point called Sam’s Kid.  They don’t have a website (or I would have linked them) but it was good.  They had kimchi (a popular Korean side dish) so I will def. go back.  And they had sparkling sake!  I’d never heard of such a thing but it was delightful.

Then we had broomball. 

What a random day.

Christmas in February?

One of the things I love most about online shopping is that when you receive a package, its like receiving a Christmas present.  I get very excited over this… and I think having snow madness just escalated my excitement. 

Living in Baltimore city, I don’t have a lot of packages sent to my house.  First – if UPS requires a signature, I’m never home to get the damn package.  Anyone else have this problem?  Second – if a package is left on my doorstep, I’m always afraid someone will swipe it.

So – as much as I don’t like to, I get packages sent to my parents’ house.  I don’t like it because my mom is nosy!  And if too many packages come, my mom thinks I have a shopping problem (and I really don’t).

Anywho – recently I purchased a few new goodies and was finally able to get the packages (since some snow has melted).  Yippeee!

BB Dakota Glen Plaid dress:

I originally saw this dress through Gilt.  I wasn’t sure of what size to order.   So I looked up their return policy and shipping costs.  After all was said and done, the cost of the dress would have been around $40.  Not too shabby.

Thanks to the power of Google, I looked up this dress to see if I could score it anywhere cheaper.   And I did!  South Moon Under had this dress for the same sale price.  However, their return policy allowed for in store returns (and there is one down the street) AND Retail Me Not had a coupon code.  Blah blah blah… I got the dress for $30 and I felt pretty happy about it.  I took a guess about the size and was pretty stoked that I was right about that too.  Yay – new dress!

I received an e-mail from Piperlime about a sale on boots.   I wasn’t really on the market for boots (but always kind of look for non-leather gray boots).  Wouldn’t you know – they had a pair of non-leather gray boots for sale ($40!):

Okay – so it wasn’t much but it helped get me through Snowzilla with a smile.  I like getting presents!

I also just realized that receiving all of these sale e-mails is probably a very dangerous thing…

I will…

… blog today.  This doesn’t really count but I wanted to let you that I haven’t completely lost my mind from snow madness nor have I become trapped under a giant pile of snow.

Monkey Minestrone

Even though I suffered from some serious cabin fever, I have to say that I’m a bit sad about having to drive into work tomorrow.  My week of working from home proved to be quite productive (because I was surrounded by a chatty cathy or micromanagement type person.  Aaanywho – for dinner, I made Monkey Minestrone from Dreena Burton’s Eat, Drink & Be Vegan.

Originally I wanted to make the sweet potatoe chili but forgot to write “sweet potatoes” on the grocery list (that my dear husband was so kind enough to go to Whole Foods to get without me while I got mani/pedis with Kristin). 

I flipped through the cookbook to see what I could make with celery, carrots, onions and chickpeas and lucky for me, Monkey Minestrone was perfect.  And it was good.

The pictures aren’t great (they’re from my phone) but this made a TON of food.  Looks like I have hearty leftovers for the week.

And to keep up with my having a drink every day this past week, I toasted my final day at home with some vino.  $11.99 from Bin 604 (organic red).  Delish!

I’ll blog about my Valentine’s Day later… but just wanted to share this delicious vegan dinner with the blogosphere.

Cabin Fever and the Attack of…

… Snowzilla!

That is what I am calling this ridiculous “record-setting” snowstorm.  I’m tired of hearing “snowmageddon” and ”snowpacalyse” (although I am now a fan of snow-em-gee!)… but I feel like this snow is like a fucking monster that is forcing people to run and hide.

… hence my cabin fever.  I can’t STAND to be stuck in the house like this!

Yesterday I ventured out to get a pedicure.  I realize it is bizarre to want a pedicure in the middle of winter (who is really looking at my feet?) – but I just had to leave the house.  With the impending snowstorm forecast, I knew it was my last chance to leave the house for a few days.

I called the nail salon around 11am and they told me that they were open but were planning to close early.  When I asked when, they said “around 2-3pm”. 

I pulled on my long underwear and snowboarding pants and ventured down (about 1.5 miles) to get a pedi.  I scooped up Theresa on the way and we were set.  While the side roads were not driveable, they were walkable.

And wouldn’t you fucking know… the nail salon was closed.  AT 1pm!  I couldn’t fault them – I could understand wanting to scoot early to avoid the traffic.  But what the hell?!

I also figured it was my last chance to go to the grocery store.  Even though Jeremy and I hit up the store the day before, we could only purchase as much as we were comfortable carrying back (1.5 miles) to the house.  I thought I’d pick up whatever we didn’t get the first trip.

Jeremy’s request?  2 more boxes of Berger cookies!  I’m glad his priorities are straight.

I was amazed by some of the stuff that had been cleared out of the grocery store.  Apparently the weather freaked everyone out into buying all of the potatoes, bagged salads and shredded cheese.  That sounds like a super fucked up salad to me.

But thankfully, they were well stocked on Berger cookies.  And Twizzlers.  I have my priorities too, you know.

I also stopped by the Wine store to pick up beer for Jeremy. 

So, I had a backpack full of food, a grocery bag full of food and another bag with beer.  I was a damn pack mule.  And the fact that I got beer for Jeremy should earn me “wife of the year”.  I think I’ve just fulfilled my Valentine’s Day gift to my hubs.

I didn’t take any pics today (of the additional snow and crazy wind gusts) but here are a few from yesterday:

That is a picture of our back “yard” taken yesterday morning.  Because of the dogs, we have to dig out a patch for them to do their business.  That mountain of snow has grown exponentially since last night’s storm.  If I was a Doozer,  I’d have the time of my life sledding down it.

Here is Jeremy posing on one of the many unplowed side streets.  I don’t think people outside of the city truly understand the magnitude of the snow on the streets!

I haven’t ventured outside AT ALL today.  Looking outside and seeing the wind blowing around like crazy (and hearing that Maryland has basically “shut down”) is enough to keep me indoors.

Thank goodness for Netflix “watch instantly” and Playstation 3.  We’ve been watching Dexter Season 1.  LOVE IT!

Cooking Up a Storm

I refuse to call the crazy snow storm in Baltimore “snowmageddon” or “snowpocalypse”.  Why?  I’m a party pooper.

So – being stuck in the house has forced me to cook more than usual.  Lately – I’ve relegated cooking to Sundays only but being trapped in my house has forced my hand to be a little more creative.

Lucky for us – we had a surprisingly amount of good things in our house.

First up, Chickpea Blondies.  I was surprised that we had all of the ingredients but I’m happy that we did.  I don’t remember where I originally saw the link to this recipe, but here is the recipe.

I was excited that I finally got to use my 6-cup food processor.  It has been in the box for almost a year.  We have a mini food processor that has been sufficient but for this recipe, I needed something bigger.

I was also excited to use this little guy:

It is a Pampered Chef measuring cup thingamabob.  I was sold on it because it was great for peanut butter.  I bought it almost a year ago and never used it!  Apparently this snow storm has gotten me to use some of my impulse purchases.

Now I guess I should use that stupid cookie press I got from Crate & Barrel…

Finished product:

They were surprisingly good.  I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about chickpeas as a dessert-type treat.  The peanut butter and fruit spread are what made this delightful.

I also found out that we had a lot of soups in the house.  I busted out the organic red pepper & tomato soup (sorry – no picture).  We didn’t have any bread and I really really wanted some tortilla chips so I made my own chips.

I cut, coated in olive oil and baked some whole wheat tortilla wraps (at 400 degrees for about 10 min):

These were really good.  They weren’t exactly like chips but they had a nice crisp crunch and were obviously much healthier.  I’ll probably opt to do this more often. 

I was also able to finish off the homemade hummus I made last week (sorry – no picture).

Lastly, I’ve been catching up on reading magazines.  This Bean & Vegetable recipe caught my eye in Runner’s World and so we made that last night with a few tweaks:

I didn’t take pictures during the prep work and forgot about it until this morning (hence it in a tupperware bowl instead of a pretty bowl).

We nixed the meat, added more carrots, substituted the eggplants with yellow squash (because the grocery store didn’t have any eggplants) and added wine to the sauce.  It was amazing.

And since we had to walk to the grocery store yesterday for “essentials”, we also picked up these:

According to my husband, Berger cookies were essential to winter storm survival. 

Sadly – these are almost all gone.  In one day.  Yowza!

Because Baltimore is predicted to get even more snow – we’re making another trip to the grocery store for actual essentials.  Fun fun!

Storm of the Century?

Holy hell – I have been bombarded with news of the impending blizzard that is going to be shutting down Maryland.  For those readers not from the Maryland area… here is what the weathermen are predicting:

I went to the grocery store yesterday during my lunch break to pick up MILK! EGGS! BREAD! TOILET PAPER!  My consumption of these items skyrocket any chance a snowflake falls.

Okay not really.  I honestly needed some little things (I always have a mid-week grocery store run) and stood in line for an obscene amount of time.

I rescheduled all of the meetings I had at work today (despite everyone planning to be in the office) because I didn’t want to end up sticking around ONLY to have people tell me they are leaving early.  I’m glad I did because tons of schools shut down early today (therefore tons of parents left work early today).

So I also left work early today (especially after watching some folks in my office wheeling a COT into a conference room.  Were they really anticipating bunking at the office overnight?  I’m sorry – I do NOT work in the medical field… I’m pretty sure things will be a-okay without our presence in the office).

As I was driving, I realized that the great blizzard of Baltimore?  It is off to a SLOW start.  The snow is coming down, but nothing is sticking.  I mean – I’m glad I avoided traffic and whatnot but if there is NO crazy snowstorm this weekend, I am going to be annoyed.

However, I’ll be happy that I can go get a pedicure on Sunday.  I haven’t clipped my toenails since the idea of getting a pedi has been planted into my head.  However, things keep pushing off a good day to go with my pal and my toenails keep growing.  I know I could just cut them but the cheapskate in me refuses to cut them and THEN pay for a pedicure.  I want to get my money’s worth at the nail salon and that involves them cutting my damn toenails.

However, my nails are getting dangerously close to being deadly weapons.

TMI, I know.

Happy snow, everyone!

Taking My Mind Off of Things

Because I’m trying to think about anything OTHER than the impending great blizzard of Baltimore (starting tomorrow!), or the fact that I keep forgetting things (because all I think about is how the weather is going to fuck up my weekend)… here are some things I’ve been focusing on lately:

1. Weezer’s “If You’re Wondering If I Want You” song.  I am in love with this song right now.  I listen to it on repeat on the way home from work. 
2. Neko Case’s “The Pharaohs”.  This is another song that I am in love with.  There is something about Neko’s voice that is so beautiful.  I’ve been listening to her album, Middle Cyclone, everyday for the last 2 weeks.
3. My list of tights that I want/need.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I am making a list of the TIGHTS I need.  WTF?  So far?  Nude pantyhose (I just got a giant run in the only pair I owned), black opaque tights (because I put a giant hole in the ones I had), black sheer tights (again, another run), black patterned tights (I snagged the patterned tights on something and there is a hole) and teal tights.  The teal tights were shown with a dress that I just bought and I loved the way the 2 items looked paired together so I’ve been thinking about teal tights for a week.  But seriously – I’m making a list of the tights I want.  I need a hobby.
4. I’ve recently purchased random ass shit on the web and most of the packages are at my parents’ house.  I’m contemplating driving down to get them tonight because I won’t be driving through a blizzard for them.  I ordered Food, Inc. on dvd, a super cute dress and new gray boots.  I think online shopping will be the death of me.  How did I buy anything before such technology?
5. I am so f’n excited about LOST!

I DVR’ed it and have been foaming at the mouth to watch it.  I have to wait for Jeremy to have some free time so we can watch it together.  I think that was one of our wedding vows.  “I promise to honor and love you.  I promise to always wait to watch new episodes of Lost with you…” or something like that.  Who knows – that was 3 years ago.  The wedding is a bit of a blur.

So there it is… things I’m obsessing over as of late.  How are things with you?