Monthly Archives: February 2010

“Boy, when you’re dead, they really fix you up…”

Boy, when you’re dead, they really fix you up.  I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something.  Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery.  People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap.  Who wants flowers when you’re dead?  Nobody.”  -J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, 1945

I’ll admit that I am terrified of death.  The idea of ceasing to exist totally freaks me out. 

I am also terrified of loved ones dying.

With all of that said, however, I just don’t understand funerals.

Jeremy’s great aunt died over the weekend.  She lived to 91!  She had also been living with Alzheimer’s for the last 15 years.

Tonight was the viewing.  Jeremy wasn’t particularly close to his aunt and I had never met her.  I think Jeremy’s parents’ had accepted that she was going to pass soon and while they seemed a bit sad – I think they agreed she’s “in a better place”.  However, we spent the evening chatting in the funeral home by a dead body.

Hello?

The idea of a viewing is so strange to me.   People passing in and out of a room to stare at a dead body.  It just doesn’t make sense.

And then I learned you have to pick all this crap out for yourself!  You pick your coffin, what you’ll be wearing, weird knick-knacks to be displayed… and for what?  I can’t imagine that my loved ones want to hold on to a guestbook from my funeral.

More than ever, I am completely sure that I just want Jeremy to throw my body in the woods.  He keeps insisting that he will not do anything illegal (this whole law school thing has turned him into such a lame-o) – so I want him to build me a cheap pine box (or find a good large canvas bag) and throw me into the woods.  Just kick me down a hill.  I don’t want a funeral.  I don’t want to pick out my cemetary plot.  I don’t want to think about what I’ll be wearing when I’m thrown into the ground.

I realize that funerals are more for the living than they are for the dead but it all just seems so strange to me.

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Snow Craziness

I am SO happy that a lot of the crazy snow piles have melted.  Just as a quick recap – here are a couple pics of the snow:

This wasn’t even the peak of the snow.  My car is buried on the left.  The piles are as high as Jeremy!

This is a shot of our roof (from our backyard).  We were concerned that when the snow melted, it would take down all of those wires you see attached to my house.

So do you see where I’m going with this?  While I’m stoked about the snow melting, we were right.  Not only did the snow come crashing down from our roof – it took the wires with it:

I came home to that scene on Thursday.  The chunks of snow on the ground?  ICE.  It broke our planter and our fence!  It also tore down our gutters. 

I was relieved that our power was still working (as was our cable) so I had no frickin’ idea what these lines were.  I called BGE to report “downed wires” (thinking this would be a priority) and they never came that day.  I called the city non-emergency line (thinking this would be a City concern) and they told me that it wasn’t their job.  Thanks, Baltimore.

BGE came the next day and left a note on the wire stating it wasn’t a BGE line and that we should call our phone company.  I just want this shit fixed.  The worst part is that damage left a huge gaping hole into my dipshit neighbor’s yard.  Now they have a window by which to antagonize my dogs or throw in their underwear.  Fun fun.

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V-Day Recap

Oh Valentine’s Day… I know that everyone hates this holiday but I won’t lie – I enjoy any holiday that requires Jeremy to do something special for me.  (Though some could argue he should do something special for me every day).  I know V-day is a 2-way street but I’m lucky to have a husband that doesn’t give a crap about getting anything.

A week or so before V-day (and before the big snow) – I asked if we were exchanging gifts.  I was truly okay with not exchanging gifts but was surprised when J-bird gave the green light. 

I, not so subtlety, left a catalog laying around with a few items of interest circled.  Jeremy didn’t give me any hints.  I usually just buy him some candy and call it a day.

Jeremy had to work on V-day but I woke up to him making me pancakes (yippee!) and a cute homemade card about how “Snow-em-gee” prevented him from getting a card and a gift… and then some sappy message about love.

I gave him a card with 2 dogs on the cover that stated “Love means…”  (open card) “Never having to say, “who farted?”

He also clipped a picture of my gift:

A silver cocktail ring that I’ve been drooling over for a few months.  It isn’t here yet (it is on backorder) but I was filled with warm fuzzies knowing that my husband knew the thing I wanted most.  Actually, to quote him “you’ve been talking about a stupid cocktail ring for a few months now.  I knew what you wanted.”

Aw.

And here’s a picture of Emily watching me eat because this is the face I always see whenever I’m eating.  My dogs are beggars!  It doesn’t help that I usually give them little nibbles of food (I’m a terrible dog owner) but how can you say no to this face?

Later that night we went out to dinner at an asian tapas restaurant in Fell’s Point called Sam’s Kid.  They don’t have a website (or I would have linked them) but it was good.  They had kimchi (a popular Korean side dish) so I will def. go back.  And they had sparkling sake!  I’d never heard of such a thing but it was delightful.

Then we had broomball. 

What a random day.

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Christmas in February?

One of the things I love most about online shopping is that when you receive a package, its like receiving a Christmas present.  I get very excited over this… and I think having snow madness just escalated my excitement. 

Living in Baltimore city, I don’t have a lot of packages sent to my house.  First – if UPS requires a signature, I’m never home to get the damn package.  Anyone else have this problem?  Second – if a package is left on my doorstep, I’m always afraid someone will swipe it.

So – as much as I don’t like to, I get packages sent to my parents’ house.  I don’t like it because my mom is nosy!  And if too many packages come, my mom thinks I have a shopping problem (and I really don’t).

Anywho – recently I purchased a few new goodies and was finally able to get the packages (since some snow has melted).  Yippeee!

BB Dakota Glen Plaid dress:

I originally saw this dress through Gilt.  I wasn’t sure of what size to order.   So I looked up their return policy and shipping costs.  After all was said and done, the cost of the dress would have been around $40.  Not too shabby.

Thanks to the power of Google, I looked up this dress to see if I could score it anywhere cheaper.   And I did!  South Moon Under had this dress for the same sale price.  However, their return policy allowed for in store returns (and there is one down the street) AND Retail Me Not had a coupon code.  Blah blah blah… I got the dress for $30 and I felt pretty happy about it.  I took a guess about the size and was pretty stoked that I was right about that too.  Yay – new dress!

I received an e-mail from Piperlime about a sale on boots.   I wasn’t really on the market for boots (but always kind of look for non-leather gray boots).  Wouldn’t you know – they had a pair of non-leather gray boots for sale ($40!):

Okay – so it wasn’t much but it helped get me through Snowzilla with a smile.  I like getting presents!

I also just realized that receiving all of these sale e-mails is probably a very dangerous thing…

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I will…

… blog today.  This doesn’t really count but I wanted to let you that I haven’t completely lost my mind from snow madness nor have I become trapped under a giant pile of snow.

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Monkey Minestrone

Even though I suffered from some serious cabin fever, I have to say that I’m a bit sad about having to drive into work tomorrow.  My week of working from home proved to be quite productive (because I was surrounded by a chatty cathy or micromanagement type person.  Aaanywho – for dinner, I made Monkey Minestrone from Dreena Burton’s Eat, Drink & Be Vegan.

Originally I wanted to make the sweet potatoe chili but forgot to write “sweet potatoes” on the grocery list (that my dear husband was so kind enough to go to Whole Foods to get without me while I got mani/pedis with Kristin). 

I flipped through the cookbook to see what I could make with celery, carrots, onions and chickpeas and lucky for me, Monkey Minestrone was perfect.  And it was good.

The pictures aren’t great (they’re from my phone) but this made a TON of food.  Looks like I have hearty leftovers for the week.

And to keep up with my having a drink every day this past week, I toasted my final day at home with some vino.  $11.99 from Bin 604 (organic red).  Delish!

I’ll blog about my Valentine’s Day later… but just wanted to share this delicious vegan dinner with the blogosphere.

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Cabin Fever and the Attack of…

… Snowzilla!

That is what I am calling this ridiculous “record-setting” snowstorm.  I’m tired of hearing “snowmageddon” and “snowpacalyse” (although I am now a fan of snow-em-gee!)… but I feel like this snow is like a fucking monster that is forcing people to run and hide.

… hence my cabin fever.  I can’t STAND to be stuck in the house like this!

Yesterday I ventured out to get a pedicure.  I realize it is bizarre to want a pedicure in the middle of winter (who is really looking at my feet?) – but I just had to leave the house.  With the impending snowstorm forecast, I knew it was my last chance to leave the house for a few days.

I called the nail salon around 11am and they told me that they were open but were planning to close early.  When I asked when, they said “around 2-3pm”. 

I pulled on my long underwear and snowboarding pants and ventured down (about 1.5 miles) to get a pedi.  I scooped up Theresa on the way and we were set.  While the side roads were not driveable, they were walkable.

And wouldn’t you fucking know… the nail salon was closed.  AT 1pm!  I couldn’t fault them – I could understand wanting to scoot early to avoid the traffic.  But what the hell?!

I also figured it was my last chance to go to the grocery store.  Even though Jeremy and I hit up the store the day before, we could only purchase as much as we were comfortable carrying back (1.5 miles) to the house.  I thought I’d pick up whatever we didn’t get the first trip.

Jeremy’s request?  2 more boxes of Berger cookies!  I’m glad his priorities are straight.

I was amazed by some of the stuff that had been cleared out of the grocery store.  Apparently the weather freaked everyone out into buying all of the potatoes, bagged salads and shredded cheese.  That sounds like a super fucked up salad to me.

But thankfully, they were well stocked on Berger cookies.  And Twizzlers.  I have my priorities too, you know.

I also stopped by the Wine store to pick up beer for Jeremy. 

So, I had a backpack full of food, a grocery bag full of food and another bag with beer.  I was a damn pack mule.  And the fact that I got beer for Jeremy should earn me “wife of the year”.  I think I’ve just fulfilled my Valentine’s Day gift to my hubs.

I didn’t take any pics today (of the additional snow and crazy wind gusts) but here are a few from yesterday:

That is a picture of our back “yard” taken yesterday morning.  Because of the dogs, we have to dig out a patch for them to do their business.  That mountain of snow has grown exponentially since last night’s storm.  If I was a Doozer,  I’d have the time of my life sledding down it.

Baltimore Winter Storm 2010

Here is Jeremy posing on one of the many unplowed side streets.  I don’t think people outside of the city truly understand the magnitude of the snow on the streets!

I haven’t ventured outside AT ALL today.  Looking outside and seeing the wind blowing around like crazy (and hearing that Maryland has basically “shut down”) is enough to keep me indoors.

Thank goodness for Netflix “watch instantly” and Playstation 3.  We’ve been watching Dexter Season 1.  LOVE IT!

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