Lately I’ve found myself constantly apologizing for things or making excuses for things related to parenthood. And quite frankly – I’m tired of it. A lot of it stemmed from my desire to be a laid-back parent. A non-judgmental parent. A simple parent. But I’m not really any of those things outside of parenthood (I swear I’m working on the judgmental stuff though).
In chatting with some new parent friends – I have found that I’m not alone when it comes to apologizing for stuff. So it ends today. I am saying farewell to the following things I’ve been apologizing / making excuses for:
Asking Jeremy to do things for me or the baby.
In the beginning, I apologized incessantly for asking him to do some parenting duties. I’m not sure why. I think I just didn’t want to be one of those moms who immediately hands the baby off to her husband when he returns from work but you know what? Sometimes I’m tired and sometimes I need a break (Jeremy has told me to stop apologizing).
We try to be as green as we can in our lifestyle. Jeremy will probably tell you that I sometimes get a little crazy about it. I’m always trying to figure out ways to reuse items (because I hate wasting stuff) or how I’ll hang onto a bottle of something because I know that I can squeeze out every ounce of product left in it. When I hear / read about how many diapers people go through and how long it takes for them to biodegrade, I can’t help but feel guilty. Yes, I suffer green guilt.
But people are very touchy about this topic. I’ve gotten quite a few, “You’re not cloth diapering are you?” or “haha! Good luck with that.” So it has made me self-conscious about trying to cloth diaper and we’re not even full on cloth diapering!
When people notice that Annmarie is wearing a cloth diaper, I have found myself saying, “oh – we’re just trying this out because we received some cloth diapers and disposable inserts for free. We’re not like crazy cloth diaper people.”
I’m stopping that right now. Who cares if I choose to cloth diaper my child. I’m not telling you what to do so don’t make me feel bad about my decision. But as for our experience – it was difficult at first but now I’ve gotten into the groove and it isn’t bad at all. Sure it takes a little more work than regular disposables (and we still use disposables – but we’re using Earth’s Best disposables) but it really isn’t that difficult. But I say that based on my experience with the disposable (but biodegradable) inserts. I haven’t braved the full on cloth experience yet.
My diaper bag.
I have a Coach diaper bag. I have this one to be exact:
The diaper bag was a gift from my mom’s best friend. (quick side note – both my mom and her friend know that I don’t wear leather. When she gave me this gift, she pointed out that it was canvas. I didn’t have the heart to point out the leather straps. Sometimes I know that it is better to bite my tongue and be gracious than to dispute a gift with a Korean lady.)
I feel like a super yuppie carrying a fancy, overpriced diaper bag. When people compliment it – I constantly say, “oh – it was a gift” as though I should feel bad about it. I guess I just don’t want to be perceived as a high-maintenance mom but dammit, why am I explaining myself to strangers? I’m stopping.
Do you find yourself apologizing for things that you really don’t need to be apologizing for?