I Can’t Stop Apologizing (my friend’s baby shower debacle)

I know I said I’d stop apologizing for stuff – but holy shit, I can’t stop!  I’m apologizing to nobody about everything as though the world is judging me.  I apologize for my workouts, I apologize for making crap desserts, I apologize for a bakery fucking up.  Yarg!

This past weekend was my bestie’s baby shower.  She’s due on my wedding anniversary (April 28) with a baby boy.  It was fun to go through pregnancy mostly together (and to commiserate with someone) but I wished we had more maternity time together.  While I complain about boredom on most days, I realize that I am totally lazy and don’t feel like leaving my house most of the time (this is due to the pain in the ass it is to coordinate nursing, pumping, getting the baby ready and getting the dogs settled). 

I figured I’d be handling most of the shower planning alone because I’m a bit of a control freak and prefer to do everything myself.  But a few weeks into being a mom, I realized that I needed the help.  Thankfully Kristin (the mom-to-be) has some awesome moms (her mom and her MIL) who were more than willing to help.  I leaned on them to provide all of the non-dessert food.  I leaned on Kristin’s SIL to handle the basics like plates, utensils, tableclothes, etc.  I told them all I would handle decorations and desserts.

I told everyone to meet at the location at 11:30am to setup.  Was I on time?  Of course not.  I’m perpetually late for everything these days.  I was 30 minutes late and completely frazzled.  I didn’t even remember how to get to the location and had to call the honoree for directions!

Another big problem of mine?  I have aspirations of being this super crafty baker person and I’m not either of those things.  At my shower, my ACTUAL super crafty and super baker friends Kristin and Theresa hooked me up.  You can reread what they did here.  I thought I’d take a page out of their books and try the same thing but with a different theme.

Instead of “cupcakes” made out of baby socks and baby washcloths, I made little boats (since Kristin’s nursery theme based on this nautical bedding).  However, I didn’t properly calculate the number of tables that would be at the shower.  Only 25 people had responded YES so I estimated that there would only be 3 tables.  So I only made 3 crappy centerpieces:

When I arrived at the location, there were 4 tables setup and I realized that I’m an idiot.  So here is the pitiful 4th centerpiece (because I couldn’t stand the idea of one table being without one):

Then onto the desserts.  I ordered a cake from a bakery that people rave about.  In fact, this particular type of cake was at my office shower and it was amazing.  When I asked my boss for the cake details (because I knew I’d want it at Kristin’s shower), she warned me that it was a pricey cake.  I don’t think I was prepared for the $70 price tag.  But I felt like too much of an idiot to back out after we’d gone through the ordering process.  But the cake IS delicious so I figured it was worth it.  I found out later that the middle layer was still partially frozen at the shower.  I’m still pissed about that.

But because I couldn’t just stop at a cake (I really wished I had) – I decided that I’d tackle the cake pops that Theresa has made on several occasions (and made popular by the famous Bakerella).  I made the cake balls Thursday night and tackled the chocolate coating step Friday night.  Well – I suck at making cute baked goods because only 17 of the 50 balls made it onto a stick (and Jeremy had to do it!).  The others kept sliding off the sticks and falling apart.  I had a near meltdown.  I decided to scrap the pops and just make chocolate coated cake balls but again, I suck.  Here is an example of one of the cake balls.  It looks like someone vomited blue chocolate on it:

It was delicious but didn’t look quite appetizing so there were a ton leftover.

And because that was a disaster, I went ahead and made strawberry cupcakes!  It was a dessert overload.  What killed me was that it seemed that the desserts hardly went touched! 

(Okay – this picture is a bit misleading.  It was taken before all the guests arrived.  People did eat a few of the desserts but not as much as I had hoped.)

Also during setup – I had realized that I had forgotten a ton of things like pens (for the shower games), a knife (for cutting the cake) and god knows what else.  I should also add that at Kristin’s bridal shower a few years ago, I was SO hungover that I actually vomited at the shower location a few times.  Could I suck at putting together any more of her monumental events?  Geez.

While I felt like a big fat crafty baker failure, some of her guests showcased their skills:

But the best part of the entire shower was my mom.  She was doting on Annmarie (as any grandmother would) but did her usual criticisms (where she voices them to Annmarie but is actually talking to me).  And wouldn’t you know that Annie was going through a bit of a growth spurt?  She wanted to eat every 2 hours.  She started crying while Kristin was opening gifts (and I was jotting down who gave what) and my mom was loudly whispering that I needed to go feed Annmarie.  It was hilarious and embarrassing all at the same time.

Basically, Saturday was filled with a ton of “I’m Sorry”s (even though not a single person expected one because they were all awesome… from helping with the shower to picking up my mom from her house to watching Annmarie).

But I really can’t shake the “I’m Sorry” stuff.  UGH!

5 Comments

Filed under Charm City Kim Rambles

5 responses to “I Can’t Stop Apologizing (my friend’s baby shower debacle)

  1. kristin

    Are you kidding me? The shower was awesome, and if I didn’t say it enough already, thanks for everything. And stop apologizing, I think you’re turning into me. :) I brought your leftover dessert stuff to work today and my coworkers thought your cake balls were amazing, and they love your cupcakes and the cake – as do I! (Don’t worry, I saved you and your hubby a huge chunk of cake.)
    I loved the boat centerpieces, those were the first thing that caught my eye. And the “BABY BOY” banner that you made, I’m trying to figure a way to incorporate that into his room. Or maybe use the circles and put his name in them, or put the circles into a photo album w/pictures of him, when he’s finally decided to grace us with his presence.

  2. theresa

    don’t be so hard on yourself – the shower was very nice and picking up your mom was no problem at all : )

  3. I’m pretty sure you get to play the “I just gave birth, you assholes,” card for at least the 6 months, if not the first year. Cut yourself some slack. (Also, send cake.)

    That being said, I kind-of know how you feel. I was going through a bit of a funk last week where it felt like I couldn’t do anything right. I left the stove on, lost my house key, left my replacement key in the lock…it felt like everything I did, I messed up. And every time I’d mess something up, I’d have a little meltdown. It’s a frustrating feeling to feel like you can’t even do simple tasks right. Luckily, we’re both surrounded by very patient and forgiving people who don’t mind things like blue chocolate vomit or digging up the spare house key!

  4. I have to say, you get a ton of kudos for hosting a shower so soon after birth. It’s the thought that counts, and I’m sure everyone was ooh-ing and aah-ing over having Annmarie there.

    I lol-d at the picture of your botched cakeball though :) Those things are such a pain in the butt to make, and never turn out as cute as Bakerella’s.

  5. Stacy

    I want the balls recipe!!!

    And…welcome to my life – I apologize for EVERYTHING! Someone runs straight into me, I say “Oh, I’m sorry.” I must say it a 1,000 times a day!

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