Crap I Want to Buy

I don’t know if this is the impacts of motherhood or aging talking here but I’m finding myself really wanting some stupid things lately.

The first thing that jumps out at me is something that I initially laughed at when I saw it advertised on television.  The whole concept was ridiculous and the way this task was portrayed on television (as though it was incredibly difficult) was even more absurd.

But after watching this commercial a few times and really thinking about… I want it.
Easy Feet

My feet are looking busted lately.  The constant bending over and picking up of a wee baby (that isn’t so light weight anymore) are starting to take a toll on my terrible back (I really feel like I am one sneeze away from a muscle spasm).  And the fact that I have now turned into crazy floor lady (my floors are never clean enough!) – the idea of having this fabulous foot scrubber that allows me to clean my tootsies without having to bend over seems like magic.  And for the low low price of $14.95, I can’t resist.  The next time I’m at Bed, Bath and Beyond - I think I’ll pick one of these up.

That leads me to this next invention.  I didn’t scoff at this initially – in fact, I’ve always thought it was a good idea.  I just wasn’t crazy about the look.
Secret Cami

I don’t like the lace at the top but I do dig the concept.  Sometimes I hate wearing a full on cami under stuff.  And as I reread that sentence, I realize it sounds ridiculous but I have a few dresses where you could see the line of the bottom of the cami and it just looked stupid.  So I started safety pinning a few of my dresses but that also looked stupid.

Now that I’m breastfeeding, I need access to my milk shooters.  And since the feedbags are now filled with something, I’m showing a lot cleavage.  It makes me uncomfortable to showcase my lovely lady lumps like that in the office BUT I need easy access to them for pumping.  Basically what I’m saying is that I need this stupid secret cami.  I just wished it didn’t look so cheap.

And now what I really need someone to invent is an inexpensive yet chic line of nursing clothes.  The nursing stuff offered by most stores is either grossly overpriced (seriously – why are you asking that I pay an extra $50 to pull out my boob?) or hideously designed.  And I don’t understand the nursing wear that has “secret” ways in which you can pull out your breasticle.  I just need an easy wrap, button down or v-neck that is stretchy enough to be pulled down.  No need for the theatrics – and if you look up some nursing gear, you’ll see what I mean.

If I had the means to design some nursing wear, I totally would.  Hey nursing wear designers, contact me.  Let’s work together to make something that isn’t butt ugly but that I won’t have to take a second job to afford.  And something as simple as putting some “pads” in the top to absorb any leaks would be amazing.  That’s not that hard, is it? 

The hubs and I are attending a wedding next month and based on the timeframe of the wedding – I am quite concerned about engorgement.  I know I’ll have to pump between the ceremony and reception but I worry that I won’t make it through the reception.  I told Jeremy that I think about halfway through the reception, I will look AH-MAH-ZING in my dress (and I’ll make him snap 1000 pictures of my beautiful chest) but that I will probably start leaking.  And when the leak gets so bad that you see 2 wet spots concentrated heavily around my nipples – I’m going to spill water all over me and we’ll have to vamoose.  I’ll just tell everyone that Jeremy is clearly SO DRUNK and that we have to go.  And if they don’t believe me, I’ll trip Jeremy and make it seem as though he’s just stumbling.  Brilliant plan, I know.

5 Comments

Filed under Charm City Kim Shops

5 responses to “Crap I Want to Buy

  1. The girls at work an I have talked a lot about the cami thing. Many of the ladies I work with are busty. I found the email that shared a couple of other options if you are interested…

    http://thewinkee.com/

    http://www.brazabra.com/product_details.php?style=S/5001&cat_selected=1

    I have been dying, DYING for the Xpress Redi-Set-Go Cooker. I’ve been wanting it for a year now.

  2. Oh, here’s another one I just read about over at alreadypretty.com – http://cleava.com/

  3. Well, crap, it looks like my first comment didn’t come thru. Don’t you hate rewriting stuff? Boogers. Anyway…

    I said that the girls at the office and I have had conversations about the secret cami thing. Many of the ladies are pretty well endowed. I found the email where we discussed several other kinds, if you are interested, the links are below.

    http://thewinkee.com/

    http://www.brazabra.com/product_details.php?style=S/5001&cat_selected=1

    http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=328087&CategoryID=40580

    And since you are talking As Seen on TV stuff, I have been dying, DYING for the Xpress Redi-Set-Go Cooker! It probably won’t work like they advertise, which is why I haven’t bought it and have been pining over it for a year hoping someone will buy it for me as a gift so I don’t feel like a tool when it turns out to be crap. =)

  4. As long as you don’t find yourself clicking OK on a pair of Pajama Jeans, no judgement here!

    Also, I think that if Jeremy were a good husband he’d quit being selfish and just go ahead and get shitfaced for you. Really, he needs to start thinking about YOUR needs, here.

  5. Pingback: Crap I Bought (and what I wore) | Charm City Kim

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