Commando

I go to the gym at my office (located 25 miles from my house) every weekday morning.

Doing this allows me to miss rush hour traffic AND get in my workout before any day-t0-day activities get in the way. 

In order to adhere to this schedule of things, I leave my house in my gym clothes and pack my work clothes in my gym bag.

So what does this mean?

It means I’ve experienced one too many days of:

• Outfits not really working together because I failed to put together the outfit first.  You know what I mean – sometimes you envision things working well together (a particular blouse with a specific skirt) but once you’ve actually put everything together on your body, you realize that it just doesn’t look as good as you thought it would.  This happens A LOT.
• Parts of an outfit not FITTING.  Oy.  Hopefully I’ve done away with this happening again since I’ve just done a major purge of my closet but let me tell you – it isn’t fun to realize you’ve shrunk something until you’re putting it on in the locker room.
• Forgetting something.  You know – socks, jewelry, UNDERWEAR.  I’ve gone commando more times than I’d like to admit (it is terribly uncomfortable for me).

Some of the funnier moments have involved me packing the wrong color shoes (you know – black shoes with a brown outfit) and one time I actually grabbed 2 left shoes.  I actually had to wait until Target opened so I could quickly purchase some shoes.

Well – today was a first.  Not only did I forget my underwear, I forgot my fucking bra. 

Whaaaa?!

I contemplated just wearing my stinky and flattening sports bra.  But I couldn’t take the smell.  Oh… this bra smelled so bad.

Could I really just NOT wear a bra? 

Well – yes, I can really NOT wear a bra and totally get away with it because I did it today.

Sadly – nobody noticed. 

I mean, clearly my cups do not runneth over.  Shit – my cups are barely filled. 

I spent the first half of the day really self conscious and uncomfortable.  But by the end of the day, I felt comfortable and free.  However, I’d rather have full cups (than be the kind of adult gal that can go braless without any discomfort and anyone noticing).

Tales from the Gym

Sick of reading about my obsession with working out? Sorry folks – its all I’ve got lately. I’ll refrain from p90x chatter though. You’re welcome.

Jeremy told me a story the other day about some guy at his gym (that he referred to as a douchebag) that acts as though he is a serious runner. Apparently douchebag hopped on a treadmill next to Jeremy and continuously glanced at Jeremy’s speed setting and tried to keep up. Jeremy had only intended to run 5 miles but because this guy was annoying him so much, he decided to out run him. And he succeeded. He said the douchebag had to stop and walked away looking very defeated.

Jeremy expected me to laugh. I didn’t. I felt bad for the guy! I am a wannabe runner. I’m not fast. I can’t go very far but I have aspirations to be a serious runner. There is something about that title… it’s so elitist. I want in that group! I have often looked to others as a motivator to get me to run and sometimes, if I’m next to a person who seems to be in good shape – I will look at their treadmill settings and try to get in pace with them. I’m usually defeated and can’t keep up but I try. So I felt bad for the douchebag.

Jeremy justified his bullying of the douchebag by noting his being a weirdo in the gym. Douchebag struts around the locker room naked (not shocking) but also goes to the urinal, butt-naked, with his hands on his waist as he pees. Okay – yeah… that’s a bit much.

I now bring to you the people that annoy me in MY gym. Something to keep in mind is that I happen to work out at MY corporate gym so these are not only weird gym quirks… but these are weird gym quirks of COWORKERS.

- Girls with long-ish hair that don’t pull it back when working out. I can’t stand you. You are clearly not taking the work out seriously because you cannot possibly run/jump/MOVE with long hair without it turning into a rat’s nest. PULL IT INTO A PONYTAIL.

- Extreme sweat-ers (I’m one of them!) that don’t wipe down the machines they are finished using. When I can see sweat DRIPPING off of the machine, you need to wipe it up. That’s just gross.

- People who change the television that I am clearly watching. Um… hello? My eyes are clearly staring at the TV in front of me.

- People who realize that I’m watching the television directly in front of me so they change the channel of a tv close by and turn the volume WAY UP. Heard of headphones?

- People who go to the bathroom completely naked. I don’t make nakedness in the locker room. I am not a participant of said nudiness (I try to be discreet… hello, these are my coworkers!) but I’m used to seeing it at this point. But going into a bathroom stall naked? This isn’t your house!

That’s it for now but believe me, I have plenty more. I wonder if in 10 years, I’ll be a naked locker room kind of gal. That trend seems to come with age. The younger you are, the more likely you are to change in a bathroom stall. When you are roughly around my age, you’re okay being discreet in front of everyone (hey – being in your underwear is like wearing a bikini, right? RIGHT?!). But when you get a bit older… you just let it all hang out. Although I wish some of these ladies kept up with the landscaping.