This Rest Week is not so Restful

I think I’m going to have to have a few words with Tony Horton from the p90x workout about what “resting” really means.  Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines it as:

to cease from action or motion : refrain from labor or exertion

And I think most of us can agree.  So – on top of doing the p90x workouts, I’ve also tried to do extra cardio so that I can log some miles (because I have convinced myself that I will be a serious runner).  While I’ve tried to compensate for my extra workouts with more food, you can imagine that I’m a wee bit tired.

So – when Jeremy informed me that Week 4 = rest, I was STOKED.

Day 1 of rest week – yoga.  Yoga is surprisingly NOT restful in this program but I got the gist of it.  Stretching.  Calming.  Blah.

I thought maybe that it was just winding me down for a very restful week.

Yeah… no.

Day 2?  Core Synergistics.  I assumed it was a lot of core strengthening exercises.  I was prepared for easy, relaxation, yoga abs… not PRISON CELL PUSH-UPS.  Who names an exercise prison cell push-ups?  In case you’re wondering what a prison cell push-up entails, here is a very detailed paint drawing.

Step 1: Standard push-up
Step 2: In the up position of the standard push-up, bring your left knee into your chest
Step 3: Back down into the standard push-up
Step 4: IN the up position of the standard push-up, bring your right knee into your chest
Step 5: Somehow muster the strength to jump up onto your feet and reach for the ceiling.

All of this is supposed to be done VERY quickly.


Here is my pictorial explanation of how MY attempt of the prison cell push-up went down:


The blue pool is my SWEAT.  I did 2 rounds and thought I was going to die… so I just layed on the ground wishing for the sweet relief of death in a pool of my own sweat.

Jeremy told me that he thought I’d really enjoy this workout.  As I layed on the ground, wishing for death, I thought of how I’d punch Jeremy in the nuts before I died.

Today’s workout is Kenpo X (kickboxing) and this actually isn’t so bad.  Maybe NOW my rest week is winding down?  Who knows… Tony Horton might throw in a “prison cell shiv to the eye” move in some other workout yet to come.  Block with your left, stab with your right… now twist… now twist… stab that prisoner!



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6 responses to “This Rest Week is not so Restful

  1. I was sitting her trying to imagine myself doing a prison cell push up. I got to the part where I jump to my feet, and then I fell over. The jumping part was in my head, but the falling over part was real. Just thinking about the prison cell push up made me tired. Who invented that shit?

    Haha! Thinking about it makes me tired… and it makes me sweat! That’s how traumatizing I find it to be.

  2. Meredith

    So basically it’s a push up with a mountain climber with an up-down. Yea that sounds fantastic….not! Any of those three exercises should not fall on a ‘rest’ day.

    Tell me about it! I was in the mindset to REST… I didn’t realize I’d be reliving our days of bootcamp class!

  3. Ben

    Kenpo X isn’t all that bad. Yoga X, on the other hand, is pretty rough. That’s what I had this morning; doing the “lean” routine and all. My questions after having done this twice are: 1) Is 40 minutes of standing on one leg really necessary?; 2) Is there any random person off the street that can come in and do The Crane and The Plow immediately? I mean, come on; 3) What spawn of Satan came up with the Half Moon pose? I can barely stand on one foot, let alone stand on one foot while bent over with my torso twisted and lifting my back leg.

    Ironically, the one thing that makes the routines so tolerable is that Tony Horton comes across as so douchey; which I find rather amusing when I’m dripping with sweat at 6:15 AM. He also comes across as pretty likeable, but douchey nonetheless.

    I skip the half moon AND the crane!! Hahaha… and I agree about Tony. A blogger once said she did PR for his company and that everyone loved him. He seems likeable… just very very very corny.

  4. fragileworld

    oh my gosh! the yoga….this yoga is CRAZY!!! wow!!!! I sweat more in the yoga than I have in the three prior DVDs….!!!! lol wow! but I looove the ab ripper!!!

  5. Your drawings are freakin’ hilarious!

    The drawings don’t even do it justice!

  6. Joe

    This is a great blog, and a great post; but just to let you know; nowhere does Tony use the word “rest”! Week 4, 8 and the last week are actually called “recovery weeks.” There’s a HUGE difference between rest and recovery! It’s during the recovery week that your muscles rebuild themselves; which is why you don’t do any muslce building exercises; but it’s still really important to do muscle toning and fat burning routines.

    Exercise is the architect, recovery is the builder. The recovery weeks are probably the most important weeks of the whole programme, and for me; the most hard work!

    You never get a “rest” with P90X…

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