Contending with Fumes and Fart Clouds

I have realized that no matter how old I am, I will always enjoy talking about farting.  And pooping.  No really – I enjoy talking about these things.  All the time.  Much to the horror of my family (minus Jeremy who also enjoys these chats).

I like to justify my joy of talking about these things to me being very health conscious.  That works, right? RIGHT?!

Anyways – I really just wanted to title this post “Contending with Fumes and Fart Clouds” based on an e-mail exchange I have going on with some pals.  Apparently I seek out friends who also enjoy discussing farting and pooping.

We’re meeting up for dinner at a local Mexican joint (Arcos in Fell’s Point) because
(1) I love Mexican food.
(2) I have a coupon.  Economic crisis = coupon clipping.
(3) It’s a nice belated bday dinner for 2 pals.
(4) I haven’t had a nice dinner with these girls in awhile.

Of course, talking about Mexican food lends itself to fart chat.  As one friend so eloquently wrote, “I love Mexican food and I’m sure [my husband] will appreciate it later when he succumbs to my gassy ways.”

To which I told her she was preaching to the farticular choir.

Sadly – I laughed about farting yesterday for much longer than any 28 year old should.  But really – will it ever get old?

The conversation continued today when a pal suggested carpooling to save on car fumes and then added, “but after dinner we will have other fumes to contend with!”  I’m sure it’s not that funny to you, blogosphere but I’m amazed at my maturity level sometimes.  I still can’t stop laughing!

My poor dogs don’t realize that they’re the real victims in all of this because when they’re sleeping under the covers, they’ll be inhaling my fart cloud (that is what Jeremy calls the toxic fumes under our covers at night… although most would refer to it as a dutch oven).

Another pal added today that her hubby  “likes to say he has so much love inside that it’s oozing out” and likes to refer to his farts as “love bubbles”. 

I truly don’t understand couples that don’t pass gas in front of each other.  Ladies – we know you do it!  Don’t lie!  I think the toughest part in a relationship when it comes to pooting is getting that first one out of the way.  My theory is that you should go big or go home.  What did I do?  I pinned Jeremy down on the ground and farted on him.  I think it was that exact moment that he knew he wanted to marry me.

Okay – now back to adult life.



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8 responses to “Contending with Fumes and Fart Clouds

  1. I will admit that I am not much of a farter. Oh, I enjoy the poop and fart joke as much as anyone else but I just don’t produce much gas. The man who eats almost all the same food as me? More gas than three people combined. One of my good friends and I use to joke that everything we ever spoke about was related to one of three topics, food, poop and gossip. And yes, we are both extremely mature.

    Yes! That’s perfect… Food, poop, and gossip. I think if you throw in shopping, those topics about sum up everything I can talk about with people. 🙂

  2. Ha ha! The first time I ever went to Jon’s house (very early on in our relationship), he excused himself to go poop while I sat on his bed (the bathroom was attached to the room). I thought to myself, “Hmph. Okay then. I guess I don’t have to worry about my stomach issues with him!”
    I had dated guys in the past that swore to God that girls don’t fart or poop, so meeting a guy who encouraged me to burp and fart and poop to my heart’s content was such a relief. 🙂

    I love that he was so open and honest! And agreed – it IS a relief when people accept the fact that these are normal body functions. I think I’d die of discomfort if I had to pretend I didn’t do any of that.

  3. Meredith

    farticular choir…lmao. Oh Kim you never fail to make me laugh.

    Question for you…does your healthly diet produce more or less gas? I ask because I eat very well but I have constant gas and have tried Beano and Gas-x. I am seriously thinking of going to see a doctor once I get over the embarassment!!

    You know – that’s a tough question. I feel like I’ve always been gassy so I don’t know if I’m MORE gassy or if its the same. And believe me, I’ve tried Beano AND Gas-X. Nothing. I probably should see a doc.

  4. Hah I love this conversation. I’m with you guys – on the gassier side of things. But mine are usually non-toxic. Unless I’ve been eating Polish food. Which I do fairly often. 😉

    Man – I need to know what to eat to make mine non-toxic!

  5. Kt

    We’ve discussed farting and pooping with you! We can’t get through a dinner with hubby’s parents without discussing farts and poop. I’m with LaPetite on this – thank God Ian is okay with it – with all my stomach issues it’d be an issue if he wasn’t!

    Ha! My mom will talk about that stuff to JUST me but gives me the stink eye (no pun intended) when Jeremy is around.

  6. Okay, I laughed so hard that tea came out my nose. I really have to step away from the beverages when I read your blog. I think we share a similar sense of humor.

    See – farting brings people together. We ALL enjoy talking and reading about it!

  7. cagincognito

    Yeah I was wondering where your obsession with farts and poo came from Kimmy…LOL It’s funny though. I crack the hell up every time you talk about it. Especially since I never do either (Smile)

    No seriously though, I don’t get bother when guys fart around me, but I remember my ex used to fart, VERY LOUDLY I might add, in his sleep. I used to get so pissed! Some nights I even kicked him out the bed because they would wake me up!

    You know what’s sad? I’ve woken MYSELF up from farting.

    Not a good look!

  8. Factor

    This just made my day.

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