Early this morning, I was in the little kitchenette at my office and noticed a foul smell of body odor. This isn’t terribly uncommon (I’m sure that you can probably pick out at least one or two smelly folks in your place of employment) but something strange happened.
I was getting hit with waves of this terrible body odor throughout the day, throughout the office building.
I had a sudden realization. I am the smelly guy! On the way to a meeting, I asked a few trusted colleagues to smell me and provide me with honest feedback. Do I stink? One colleague sniffed me, my sweater and all around me and agreed that there was a slight hint of something but it definitely was NOT my sweater. Apparently my aura stinks.
I spent the rest of the meeting smelling myself. My hands, my shirt, my underarms, my necklace… nothing. I couldn’t find that smell. I started to worry that I had acclimated to the smell and was now just grossing everyone else out.
But then I mentioned the stench to others in the meeting (that were eyeballing me suspiciously as I tried to nonchalantly smell my armpits for the 10th time) and one person recalled the same very strong stench from that very same area.
We all agreed that I was struck with a case of the The Smelly Car (from Seinfeld). Apparently this stench was SO strong, it has attached itself to me and now pops up to say hello every so often.
I can’t wait to get home to SHOWER.
Off topic, I’m wearing a new necklace today (hence why I smelled it in my early investigation of the stench).
A co-worker complimented my necklace but then delivered the hardest back-handed compliment I think I’ve ever received.
“It looks really expensive!”
I laughed and said it was $4 (I bought it from Forever 21 when I was in my crazed Romper mood).
“Oh – I was joking. Normally any sort of coral bead that is that large tends to be very expensive.”
Um… I felt like I was in Pretty Woman and being shunned on Rodeo Drive. Tomorrow I’m coming into the office in my most expensive attire, with the price tags attached, perhaps I’ll even carry some shopping bags full of clothing and I’ll nonchalantly pass her cube and say, “Big mistake. HUGE.”
btw – I promise I’ll post a pic of me, a grown woman, wearing the romper soon.