Daily Archives: October 29, 2009

Stink Bomber

Active.com posted a funny article about the 10 most common types of runners.

I nodded my head in agreement for some of them (omg, I totally see that woman on the trail!  YES!  that guy totally freaks me out!) and then realized that I am a combination of 2 types:

The Human Cybertron

Typically the Human Cybertron runs with every possible electronic aid known to man sprouting from every orifice in their sweaty body. I’m amazed that they can even ponder so much data, with so much entertainment plugged into their ears on such a short run. I mean how much distance, speed, altitude, pace, heart rate, calorie, trajectory, target zone, sweat rate, and MP3 data can a person process in a few short hours?

The Stink Bomber

Sometimes the pre-race morning meal does not agree with the body in motion. I’m sure in the heat of battle we’ve all squeezed out a little “poot”. But not the Stink Bomber. This guy started farting at the age of one has has since gone to graduate school in the fine art of flatulance.

I run with my iPod, a heartrate strap, a Nike+ insert and a Garmin forerunner.  During marathon training, I started to run without my iPod and it was surprisingly calming.  Actually – I found that I only enjoyed runs without the iPod when I was running along a scenic route (NCR trail, along Loch Raven).  Running through the city stresses me out.  I think the sound of all the cars whizzing by trigger the feeling of road rage in me and I need to drown it out.

As for farting… there is something about running that forces me to fart.  Oh who am I kidding – movement makes me fart.  Breathing makes me fart.  Everything makes me fart!  The problem with running and farting is that no matter how hard you try, you can’t make the fart silent.  And then sometimes the farts come out to the rhythm of your footsteps (and that’s pretty entertaining).

So are you a runner that lets ’em loose while you run?  Ever run near a farter? 

And a funny sidenote – I was walking to my car in a parking garage at work the other day and had to fart super badly.  I held it in throughout the building and couldn’t wait to get to my car to let it loose.  When I stepped into the garage, the coast appeared to be clear so I let it loose.  It was really really really loud.  Like honking loud. 

Then I took 2 more steps to see 2 associates smoking cigs.

Ha!  All I could do was laugh.

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Filed under Charm City Kim Runs

5 Years Ago

… the magic began.  What magic?  The magic between me and Jeremy.  Ha!  It seems kind of crazy that we’ve been married for half of that time.  To some, it seems like we kind of jumped right into a lifetime committment but to us it just made sense.

So let me set the scene of our magic making.  A week prior, I had laid the ground work unknowingly.  I had my eye on Jeremy for a bit (especially when I heard he was a good smoocher from another friend… and yes, he made out with a friend of mine.  And no, it’s actually not weird at all – it’s hilarious!). 

So how did I unknowingly lay the ground work?  I got completely drunk and made an ass out of myself.  I think this just proves that I am an adorably drunk (and not the annoying drunk who vomits all over the side of her husband’s car after a wedding.  Oh wait – I am.  I guess that’s what getting married does to a gal).

I spent the week scheming on how I was going to hook Jeremy.  I deemed him my pet project.

Jeremy apparently declared that he was going to pursue me.

We made plans (group plans) to hit up some absurd happy hour at a bar in Canton ($1 Miller Lites!).  We stuck around well past our friends and even ducked into a dive bar for a bit.  And then the awkward invite into my house.

I think I might have said something along the lines of hating my roommate’s cat and that it puked in my room.  I said it left a stain on my carpet and did he want to see it.  I’ve got some sweet moves.

And after an all night smooch-fest, I took him home the next morning and high-fived him goodbye.  To say it was awkward is an understatement.

But here we are five years later… sitting on the sofa, watching a DVR’ed “Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” and chowing down on a fabulous vegan mexican chocolate cake that I made.

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Filed under Charm City Kim Rambles