Yet Another Neighbor First

I’m starting to wonder if my neighbor reads my blog (if he somehow could ply himself away from drinking his bottom of the barrel domestic beer and smoking generic cigarettes).  Between the tossing of food in my yard and his dirty underwear in my yard – I didn’t think he could top himself.

Well holy f’n crap.  He did it again.

It is currently snowing in Baltimore.  Secretly I’m relieved because I’ve been in a bit of a slump lately (this would explain my lack of blogging, tweeting and reading all of my favorite blogs and commenting).  Anywho – Jeremy and I are holed up in our house, sitting cozily under a blanket with our dogs, eating pistachios and watching Fringe (I love Joshua Jackson).

There is a knock at the door.

I figured it was someone asking if we wanted to pay them to shovel our steps (all 3 of our steps).  But it was my neighbor.

He asked if he could come inside and Jeremy let him in.  And then he asks us for money.  Yes, you read that correctly.  He asked us for cash.

Jeremy told him we didn’t have any cash (and sadly that is the truth – we just don’t carry cash).  The neighbor went on to say he needed cash for food (as though we were lying).  Again – Jeremy said we don’t have cash.

Then the neighbor mumbled something about him having to write a check and left.

While I’d love to feel bad for him if he really can’t afford food… he sure as shit can afford his cheap beer, cigarettes and prostitutes.

And now I’m freaked the fuck out.  He has never been in our house before.  And I’m not saying we’re living in a house covered in gold and diamonds… but I will say our house is a hell of a lot nicer than his. 

Now I think he’s going to try to rob us. 




Filed under Charm City Kim Rambles

10 responses to “Yet Another Neighbor First

  1. Amy

    Wow, I don’t know what to say about this neighbor. Well, except maybe, never let him in when Jeremy isn’t around. Seriously creepy. Maybe the prostitute wouldn’t take checks anymore. . .

    Joshua Jackson on the other hand. . .

    I usually don’t let anyone in (or answer the door!) when I’m alone.

    However, I’d let Joshua Jackson in. 🙂

  2. do you have an alarm system?! i hope so. that is creepy.

    We’re looking into it!

  3. Shannon

    Everything about that is weird. Keep your doors locked, even when you’re home. Wow.

    I’m glad everyone agrees that it was weird and I’m not overreacting (by thinking it is creepy).

  4. Jesus tap dancing Christ! Creepy much?
    As the others said, keep your door locked, watch yourself after dark, etc. On the bright side, at least Jeremy was the one who answered the door, so he knows that it’s not just little ol’ you alone at home. Maybe Jeremy’s towering manhood will be enough to deter him from popping by again.

    Hahaha! Towering manhood! Hahaha! (Sorry, Jeremy). 🙂

  5. No, you’re not overreacting. Yikes, dude.

    Right?! And thank you.

  6. Meredith

    Call ADT stat! As my mother says, the alarm is to protect me, not my stuff because the stuff is replaceable. It’s just a nice sense of security even if you do have Jeremy around to protect you.

    We got a quote from ADT the very next day! 🙂

  7. Oh FUCK.

    We had a neighbor that went after her husband with a baseball bat as he sat cowering in his beat up S-10.

    She also called the police on my husband when he cut off about a foot of a sticker bush that was hanging into our yard. When the cops came, we asked him if he really thought we were a problem since they had been to their house about ten times in the two and a half years we lived there. After we went back inside, she continued to fight with our neighbor on the other side for about an hour in the yard while the cop was there. We sat inside laughing that they probably got the call to their house and flipped a coin as to who had to make the call.

    Hot damn! You might have me beat with batshit crazy neighbors!

  8. Oh wow! That’s really strange. REALLY strange.

    Also, I share your love of Joshua Jackson. 🙂

    I’m glad that someone else loves JJ!

  9. smack

    Kim, I don’t mean to go all mommy on you, but never let the underwear tossing, dog antagonizing neighbors into your house. This is how people end up on I Survived.

    and I don’t need one more thing to worry about! You guys should do some thwarting tactics like throw up in the backyard or start yelling loudly about how you can’t believe everything got shipped to Poughkeepsie while you were out so he thinks you’re all f’d up and poor.

    I like that idea! I haven’t seen him out and about lately but I’m keeping my eye on him.

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