Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (or How I’ve Been Feeling Lately)

I am in a perpetual bad mood.  And I have difficulty using the term perpetual without recalling how some girl commented, “Is it just me or is Kim perpetually burned out?” in high school and before I could even get mad, I had to ask my friend what “perpetual” meant. 

Anywho.  If you ask Jeremy – he’ll tell you that he thinks that I’ve been having some very bad mood swings lately.  Or that I’m just always in a bad mood. 

If you ask ME, however, you’ll learn that I am no longer sleeping soundly.  Instead, I get up every 30 minutes to urinate.  Or I’m constantly tossing and turning because holy fuck – I can’t lay flat on my back anymore because I might KILL THE BABY so I’m constantly shifting from side to side while hugging and maneuvering my new body pillow and knocking around 2 dachshunds while I’m in the process.  Have I mentioned that Petie & Emily hate my new pillow setup?  I have a body pillow and a pillow that I keep propped by my back so that I don’t accidentally roll over onto my back and KILL THE BABY.  My dogs are so confused that they basically sleep on top of Jeremy now.

So I’m exhausted.  And my feet have grown a half size so my cute shoes that I wore to my friend’s wedding this past weekend?  There were like chinese torture devices. 

Oh?  And all of my cute fancy dresses?  None of those fuckers would zip up.  I went through all of my dresses and cried as I realized that Jeremy could not zip them up all the way.  I nearly punched him in the face when he suggested I wear one of my WORK dresses to a wedding.  A WORK dress?!  Is he crazy?  I had to borrow one of my friend’s fancy jersey knit dresses but I still felt like a fat ass.  And spare me the whole, “you’re pregnant – you’re going to get bigger” mess because right now?  I don’t want to hear it.

Basically you could say I’m in a bad fucking mood.  I’m tired.  My shoes don’t fit.  My clothes don’t fit.  And my back hurts.  Oh and I have an insatiable hunger… like I will kick this kitten if you don’t hand me that slice of pizza hunger.

At the wedding, Jeremy asked the husband of one of our pregnant friends if he has experienced the mood swings of pregnancy.  I shot Jeremy an “I will stab you” look.  I think the husband was smart when he said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about…” unlike Jeremy who is asking such dumb questions.

I think the other part of my bad mood is that I’m in the phase where I am now TERRIFIED of what is to come.  I obsess over labor, delivery and all that comes afterward. 

I’ve also been crying a lot.  That David Duchovny narrated Pedigree dog commercial about rescue dogs?  Tears.  Lots of them.  Streaming down my face.

Okay – I don’t like being a bitchy / crazy pregnant lady.  I want to be one of those glowing happy pregnant ladies.  So that is what I’m concentrating on this week… channeling the happy glowy lady.  And I’ll also be concentrating on finding Lemonheads.  For the love of god, someone please send me some Lemonheads!

P.S.  I swear I’m trying to limit the amount of pregnancy related posts but I seriously feel like I’m losing my mind these days.  I need a hobby.



Filed under Charm City Kim Breeds

6 responses to “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (or How I’ve Been Feeling Lately)

  1. Shanee

    This post reminds me of one of my labor classes. We were just going around discussing things when one of the ladys complained about how she never gets any good rest anymore. Hubs chimed in with his he was waking her up, whenever she turned on her back for fear she’d hurt the baby. What happened next was amazing. All those pregnant just got all huffed up and thru gritted teeth, told/threatened that man to LEAVE HER ALONE. Our teacher kindly explained that while it wasn’t the best, that if you were comfy then do what you need to do. Best piece of advice I ever got. Good Luck in the sleep department! And don’t kill the man. It’ll be hard, but you can do it! LOL.

  2. Shit, I have a breakdown every time I get dressed for a fancy event without being pregnant! It’s called Bitch on Parade, and Kyle’s started insisting that we have it the night before so that he has plenty of time to convince me that I look beautiful after I’ve announced that everything makes me look fat and cried. Really, it just makes the event that much more memorable.

  3. Take a deep breath. Let it out slow. Now, you will be ok. I promise! You will find that Jeremy is going to say LOTS of stupid things right now. He can’t help it, he cannot possibly fathom what it feels like between hormones, hormones causing you to pee a lot (until baby is bigger and then using your bladder for a trampoline), and dealing with the issues of change. The idea that all women are happy and glowing while they are fat with baby is a myth. I can remember before I knew I was pregnant people telling me I had such a beautiful glow while I counted the massive amount of zits that appeared and feeling like over all shit. You probably do look gorgeous to everyone else, you are feeling what others are not and that is ok. As you get used to your new status, it will get easier. It takes time but you will probably find a way to get comfy and get some sleep. And that very first time you realize the baby kicks you will completely forget about the 50 trips a night to pee and have nothing but a teaspoons worth come out. And don’t you worry about your posts. Bitch on! You are creating life and you got the right!

  4. Hang tight, sister. I’m sorry you’re feeling so punk. I can’t even imagine how it feels. xoxo

  5. I pretty much feel that way lately without being pregnant. What the hell is my excuse? At least you can blame it on the baby – I’m just a grumpy bitch.

    Also I don’t think you should limit pregnancy posts too much. It’s what you’re going through, and I like reading about it. Maybe I’m the only one, but eff everyone else then!

  6. Seriously – you want Lemonheads? I would imagine I’d be able to find them out here in God’s country. I’ll let you know if I find any.

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