I am in a perpetual bad mood. And I have difficulty using the term perpetual without recalling how some girl commented, “Is it just me or is Kim perpetually burned out?” in high school and before I could even get mad, I had to ask my friend what “perpetual” meant.
Anywho. If you ask Jeremy – he’ll tell you that he thinks that I’ve been having some very bad mood swings lately. Or that I’m just always in a bad mood.
If you ask ME, however, you’ll learn that I am no longer sleeping soundly. Instead, I get up every 30 minutes to urinate. Or I’m constantly tossing and turning because holy fuck – I can’t lay flat on my back anymore because I might KILL THE BABY so I’m constantly shifting from side to side while hugging and maneuvering my new body pillow and knocking around 2 dachshunds while I’m in the process. Have I mentioned that Petie & Emily hate my new pillow setup? I have a body pillow and a pillow that I keep propped by my back so that I don’t accidentally roll over onto my back and KILL THE BABY. My dogs are so confused that they basically sleep on top of Jeremy now.
So I’m exhausted. And my feet have grown a half size so my cute shoes that I wore to my friend’s wedding this past weekend? There were like chinese torture devices.
Oh? And all of my cute fancy dresses? None of those fuckers would zip up. I went through all of my dresses and cried as I realized that Jeremy could not zip them up all the way. I nearly punched him in the face when he suggested I wear one of my WORK dresses to a wedding. A WORK dress?! Is he crazy? I had to borrow one of my friend’s fancy jersey knit dresses but I still felt like a fat ass. And spare me the whole, “you’re pregnant – you’re going to get bigger” mess because right now? I don’t want to hear it.
Basically you could say I’m in a bad fucking mood. I’m tired. My shoes don’t fit. My clothes don’t fit. And my back hurts. Oh and I have an insatiable hunger… like I will kick this kitten if you don’t hand me that slice of pizza hunger.
At the wedding, Jeremy asked the husband of one of our pregnant friends if he has experienced the mood swings of pregnancy. I shot Jeremy an “I will stab you” look. I think the husband was smart when he said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about…” unlike Jeremy who is asking such dumb questions.
I think the other part of my bad mood is that I’m in the phase where I am now TERRIFIED of what is to come. I obsess over labor, delivery and all that comes afterward.
I’ve also been crying a lot. That David Duchovny narrated Pedigree dog commercial about rescue dogs? Tears. Lots of them. Streaming down my face.
Okay – I don’t like being a bitchy / crazy pregnant lady. I want to be one of those glowing happy pregnant ladies. So that is what I’m concentrating on this week… channeling the happy glowy lady. And I’ll also be concentrating on finding Lemonheads. For the love of god, someone please send me some Lemonheads!
P.S. I swear I’m trying to limit the amount of pregnancy related posts but I seriously feel like I’m losing my mind these days. I need a hobby.