Since more and more people are finding out that I’m pregnant, I have been bombarded with pregnancy advice or other comments.
I’ve learned quickly that there are a few hot button topics among parents and they include:
– Finding out the gender of the baby vs. waiting until delivery for the big “surprise”
– Labor with drugs vs Labor with no drugs
– Breastfeeding vs bottle feeding
The Gender Controversy
I really don’t see the big deal about this at all. The people that are pro waiting until delivery try to argue that:
– Its probably the last big surprise you’ll ever have in your life
– It makes the delivery more exciting for everyone
And to these claims, I say poppycock! (okay – I just wanted to say poppycock). The last big surprise I’ll ever have? Well that just makes me sad. Plus – what is the difference between the surprise at your 20 week sonogram vs the delivery room. I think you’re surprised either way… its just a matter of where and when.
As to the point about making delivery more exciting – I actually find this to be offensive. I don’t think knowing the gender of your baby makes the overall experience any less exciting and to imply such a thing seems kind of mean.
The way I view this whole thing – if I can find something out sooner, I will. I, personally, feel that being able to attribute a gender will (1) help me to get Jeremy to commit to a frickin’ name and (2) help me to create a personality for my bambino. But that’s just me. I wouldn’t imply to someone who is waiting that they’d feel disconnected to their baby if they didn’t have this info – just as I would expect people to respect my own personal wishes.
Plus – who’s to say I won’t be surprised at the delivery? I’m reading and hearing more and more stories about couples who were told they were having 1 thing only to end up delivering another.
The DARE Delivery Issue
Here’s another thing that baffles me. The women that seem to be pro au naturel seem to be the most adamant about their viewpoint (my mother is included in this camp).
Last I checked, women were not awarded medals or badges for opting to not use drugs. There were no ticker tape parades in their honor. I don’t believe when you register your child for school that you have to indicate whether or not you delivered them with the use of drugs. SO WHO THE FUCK CARES.
It surprised people when they ask me about my birth plan. Mind your own vag.
And speaking of vaginas… there is some sort of myth about an extra stitch? It made me chuckle when a female co-worker mentioned it to me, it made me want to take a scaulding hot shower when a male co-worker said the same thing.
The Great Boob Debate
Holy fuck – this is the mother of all controversies. Breastfeeding.
It makes me laugh when Jeremy takes it upon himself to answer for me when people ask about our plans to breastfeed (in case you’re wondering, he says, “Yes, absolutely.” as though it was a crazy question to even ask). Jeremy also took a class in college called, “Nutrition through the lifecycle” where there was a section all about breastfeeding. Apparently my husband is an expert in breastfeeding. He could be a lactation specialist. And I have a feeling that the words, “Do you want to fucking breastfeed him/her?” WILL come out of my mouth at some point.
Anywho. I just don’t understand why people feel it is their business. A lot of the comments I’ve gotten from people have been about how I should brace myself for the barage of opinions that will be forced upon me about this topic. One person even warned that I shouldn’t let the nurses make me feel bad in case I have difficulty (in fact – I’ve had a few people tell me this).
But people are rabid about this topic. I had read that a friend from high school was recently approached by a stranger in a restaurant when she was bottle feeding her newborn. The lady asked if there was breastmilk in the bottle. What the what? Oh hell to the no. Back off, lady. I would have flipped.
My plan is to try. I do think it is a natural thing to do (and find it strange when some women note how the idea of it “skeeves them out”) but I also know that it can be a painful and difficult experience for some women. Am I afraid of the process? A little but that has more to do with my fear of having my nipples bitten off (think Ted Bundy) more than the act of feeding a child.
What is it about being pregnant that allows people to cross that imaginary boundary that every has in regards to their personal space / life? I’m awaiting the day when I get to karate chop a stranger’s hand away from my belly. Bring it on, motherfuckers.