I used to love Halloween. I loved dressing up and going out.
But over the last couple of years – I have found myself feeling incredibly cheap, lazy and uncreative. Not that I was ever super creative or spending lots of cash on costumes previously.
Some friends are having a Halloween party and they made constumes mandatory. Last year, we totally bailed on Halloween and just went to a friend’s house and sat around. The year before I busted out one of my mom’s old 70s dresses and was basically just… her. A 70s disco loving Korean.
This photo doesn’t do the dress justice. It was a full length dress. And yes, that is Jeremy’s real chest hair.
The year before I was Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt but I think only 2 people actually “got it”. Plus I didn’t really go above and beyond in that costume making department.
Yes, I totally half-assed it. I know. And Jeremy was the 2nd amendment.
The year before that, Jeremy and I wore matching cow costumes just because I thought it would be funny to be a cow. It actually ended up being a little creepy. Apparently the udders invited a lot of people to have their hands near my crotch.
I couldn’t find a full length cow shot… but you all know what these costumes look like.
The year before that, I was an Indian girl. It was my ode to Cher and her half breed song but that was just too difficult to explain to anyone. So I just said I was Pocahontas.
Jeremy was Officer Dangle from Reno 911. As you can see – his costumes tend to be funnier than mine.
The year before that, I was Velma from Scooby Doo. But without the rest of the Scooby gang, I spent the whole night saying, “I’m not a librarian.” (I couldn’t find a picture).
Aaaanywho – this year. While I enjoy a good, funny costume – I just have nothing in me. I went to the Halloween store last night in my old neck of the woods and oy – what a traumatizing experience. My old neck of the woods is known for its abundance of white trash. I don’t mean trailor trash – I mean “Teen Mom”, “Jersey Shore”, and other terrible teen show trash. Oh and there are a lot of car dealerships in the area.
I was hoping for some inspiration but instead I was presented with overpriced, cheaply made and super slutty costumes.
I refuse to paint my belly. The idea of walking around in a crop top all night just doesn’t appeal to me. Some ideas I’ve tossed around are…
- Having a baby appear to be crawling out of my belly (like Alien but with a baby). This would require doll parts, glue, blood and craftiness. I’m tired just thinking about it.
- Christine O’Donnell. I laughed myself silly thinking about wearing a dress suit (like I have for work) with a witch hat and a campaign button. But upon telling people of this idea, I got a lot of, “who is Christine O’Donnell?”
- Lady Gaga in her meat dress. I thought I could get away with pinning a bunch of pictures of meat all over me (so I’d be sort of half assing it). I especially thought this was funny because I’m a vegetarian (but apparently I only find myself funny).
- Mr. Potatohead. This was the only inspiration I gathered from the Halloween store… a children’s Mr. Potatohead costume. I figured it worked with my current figure but again requires me to go buy supplies and muster some craftiness.
Ugh – so help me out guys! Inspire me. What are YOU dressing up as for Halloween?
And do you sit in a dark house on Halloween to avoid the hoards of trick-or-treaters too… or is that just me?