I Feel Like a Halloweenie

I used to love Halloween.  I loved dressing up and going out. 

But over the last couple of years – I have found myself feeling incredibly cheap, lazy and uncreative.  Not that I was ever super creative or spending lots of cash on costumes previously.

Some friends are having a Halloween party and they made constumes mandatory.  Last year, we totally bailed on Halloween and just went to a friend’s house and sat around.  The year before I busted out one of my mom’s old 70s dresses and was basically just… her.  A 70s disco loving Korean.

This photo doesn’t do the dress justice.  It was a full length dress.  And yes, that is Jeremy’s real chest hair.

The year before I was Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt but I think only 2 people actually “got it”.  Plus I didn’t really go above and beyond in that costume making department.

Yes, I totally half-assed it.  I know.  And Jeremy was the 2nd amendment.

The year before that, Jeremy and I wore matching cow costumes just because I thought it would be funny to be a cow.  It actually ended up being a little creepy.  Apparently the udders invited a lot of people to have their hands near my crotch.

I couldn’t find a full length cow shot… but you all know what these costumes look like.

The year before that, I was an Indian girl.  It was my ode to Cher and her half breed song but that was just too difficult to explain to anyone.  So I just said I was Pocahontas.

Jeremy was Officer Dangle from Reno 911.  As you can see – his costumes tend to be funnier than mine.

The year before that, I was Velma from Scooby Doo.  But without the rest of the Scooby gang, I spent the whole night saying, “I’m not a librarian.”  (I couldn’t find a picture).

Aaaanywho – this year.  While I enjoy a good, funny costume – I just have nothing in me.  I went to the Halloween store last night in my old neck of the woods and oy – what a traumatizing experience.  My old neck of the woods is known for its abundance of white trash.  I don’t mean trailor trash – I mean “Teen Mom”, “Jersey Shore”, and other terrible teen show trash.  Oh and there are a lot of car dealerships in the area.

I was hoping for some inspiration but instead I was presented with overpriced, cheaply made and super slutty costumes.

I refuse to paint my belly.  The idea of walking around in a crop top all night just doesn’t appeal to me.  Some ideas I’ve tossed around are…

  • Having a baby appear to be crawling out of my belly (like Alien but with a baby).  This would require doll parts, glue, blood and craftiness.  I’m tired just thinking about it.
  • Christine O’Donnell.  I laughed myself silly thinking about wearing a dress suit (like I have for work) with a witch hat and a campaign button.  But upon telling people of this idea, I got a lot of, “who is Christine O’Donnell?”
  • Lady Gaga in her meat dress.  I thought I could get away with pinning a bunch of pictures of meat all over me (so I’d be sort of half assing it).  I especially thought this was funny because I’m a vegetarian (but apparently I only find myself funny).
  • Mr. Potatohead.  This was the only inspiration I gathered from the Halloween store… a children’s Mr. Potatohead costume.  I figured it worked with my current figure but again requires me to go buy supplies and muster some craftiness.

Ugh – so help me out guys!  Inspire me.  What are YOU dressing up as for Halloween?

And do you sit in a dark house on Halloween to avoid the hoards of trick-or-treaters too… or is that just me?



Filed under Charm City Kim Plays

5 responses to “I Feel Like a Halloweenie

  1. Meredith

    I refuse to dress up and am sick of people asking me what I’m being. I tend to turn off my lights and close the curtains if I’m home. Last year I actually planned my vacation to be out of the country on this dreaded day.

  2. I suck at halloween. Mike and I are going as my sister and brother in law. Nobody would get it except my family, so good thing that’s who we’re hanging out with.

  3. I am going as Mary Poppins and Ryan is going as Bilbo Baggins. We attend a themed costume party every year (with prizes), and the theme this year is Fantasy.
    Last year I was pregnant and went as the Virgin Mary. Blue long dress, white veil. Call it a day. You could be Octomom (baby stuff pinned to you, spit up on your clothes, big fake lips), or is that old news now?

  4. Get a tshirt and write ABSTINANCE. 😉

  5. I suck at Halloween, too, because I can’t pull off either sexy or creative. However, I did have a couple of ideas for this year. (Wasted since we both had to work today and yesterday, but here you go.)

    *Sexy janitor. Because women feel the need to skankify whatever they’re dressed as, I tried to think of the least sexy career possible. Ironic, but apparently not funny to anyone but me.

    *Kyle and I dressing as Zack and Miri in their porno. But despite the fact that Zack and Miri Make a Porno is the best movie ever made, no one seemed to know what I was talking about.

    *Wear a red sweat suit splotched with brown paint and a white braided rope in my hair. Get it? I’m a used tampon. Kyle threatened divorce.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s