Prepping for Baby

Well… another week (I’m 38 weeks pregnant now) and not much new in the world of baby. I had my appointment today and was told the following:

  • I’m about 1 cm dilated. Actually – my doc told me I was NOT dilated but her backup doc that I saw last week estimated me to be between 1-2 cm. Granted – the other doc was a little more “aggressive” in checking but it still makes me wonder how they even come up with these numbers. My doc said that she’d agree that I’m probably around 1 cm but didn’t want to torture me to make sure.
  • I’ve gained 4 lbs in ONE week. Tell me how that is possible. My total weight gain to date is now 25 lbs. I lost a pound last week! I blame all the Mexican food and pizza I ate this weekend.
  • All the cramping and soreness I’m feeling in my abdomen is normal (since I am stretched to the limit.

I have apparently shocked a lot of my co-workers by showing up to the office today. Nobody thinks I’m going to make it much longer. This belief has me thinking I’m not going to make it much longer either! Technically I have 2 weeks… I could even go up to 3 weeks (putting me at Valentine’s Day – I really don’t want a V-day baby. I feel like I’d just be screwing my poor little girl out of future boyfriend / partner gifts).

We’re pretty much done all that needs to be done around the house. Now we’re just doing maintenance cleaning. My hospital bag is more than half packed (there are just items that I still use that I won’t be packing until it is go time). So my mind is now focused on prepping my body for baby. This includes:

  • Drinking Raspberry Leaf tea. Supposedly this stuff helps with delivery or even inducing labor.
  • Primrose Oil. This stuff is supposed to ready my cervix for labor. You’re not supposed to take this stuff until you are 37 weeks pregnant… and by take, I mean shoving a capsule into your hoo-ha. You read that correctly.
  • Perineal Massage. This is by far the funniest of the bunch that I’m doing because it is so f’n awkward. Go ahead and google it. You’ll see some YouTube instructional videos on it. But to really boil down what this means, you’re massaging your taint (this is what Jeremy likes to say). That’s right.

The idea is that you stretch the muscles of your vagina to prep it for childbirth. Many believe that by doing this sort of stretching, you’re less likely to need an episiotomy (or you’ll reduce how badly you might tear).

I remember a friend of mine that described to me how her OB “massaged her taint” when she was delivering her son and how it freaked her out… but that she didn’t need an episiotomy and she didn’t even tear. Consider me sold.

However, I can’t really bend down much so I have to rely on my dear husband to perform this task and let’s just say, it has brought us a lot closer.

At first – it was ridiculously painful. Like – tears in my eyes, Jeremy was slicing me with his short little fingernails painful. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. And I sure as shit couldn’t relax.

Eventually we figured a way around this… Jeremy uses his knuckles. That’s right – my husband knuckles me. We had to do this for a few days and now I’m okay with him using his fingertips.

Don’t get me wrong – this shit is still uncomfortable but I’ve definitely noticed a difference. Let’s just hope this actually helps!

Btw – Jeremy likes to say he’s knuckling me and it still makes me laugh. I told this to my friend who made me describe it to her husband because she didn’t think he’d believe her if she told him about it.

I don’t think many women talk about the perineal massage and I don’t know why. It is hilarious. I definitely don’t think it is any type of foreplay (it is way too medical for it) but you have to have a good sense of humor about the whole thing. Pregnancy just makes you do crazy shit.

I can only imagine the crazy shit I’ll be doing when the baby is actually here.



Filed under Charm City Kim Breeds

6 responses to “Prepping for Baby

  1. This is quite possibly the best thing I’ve ever read. Ever. Fun fact, did you know that another name for the t’aint is a gooch? Sharing is fun.

  2. Innnntttteresting.

    I had never heard of this until our childbirth class, and even then the teacher was like, “Pshaw. Don’t worry about it.” So I didn’t give it a second thought.

    I definitely want to hear post-delivery if you feel it helped!

  3. Wanna know how the come up with the numbers of dilation? It goes by the fingertips! So if you get one doc that has larger fingertips than another, s/he will tell you that you aren’t as far along as the doc with the smaller fingers.

    The massaging is great!!! I didn’t do it prior to labor but my docs with baby #1 and baby #3 did it while I was delivering and there is a huge difference! Baby #1 was a 9lber and I had one stitch put in. #2 (no massage) was a 7 lber and I had 3 stitches. #3 was a 7lber and I didn’t need stitches at all (not to mention he came 4 years after #2 so it’s not like I was really loose or anything). So definitely keep that going, it will make tearing less intense and less likely.

  4. Um, yeah. This is awesome.

  5. Dude I love that you keep it real.

  6. Dacia Thompson

    I think it is so cute how you give a detailed account of your perineal adventures! I am 20 weeks pregnant with my second child (a baby boy) My first son was delivered by c-section during to how big he was. I am hoping for a vaginal delivery this time so I will definitely be using the evening primrose oil and red raspberry tea. I wish you the best of luck with your baby girl and keep the stories coming!

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