I was still pregnant. We had maternity pictures done and loved them. I was also starting to FREAK OUT. The baby was coming! I start constructing insane checklists of everything that had to get done or we would be the worst parents in the world.
The birth is now a big blur to me. It went by so quickly. I was lucky in that I didn’t have any complications and was only actually pushing the baby for less than an hour.
The first month is also a big blur but I do remember it feeling SO difficult. It seemed like Annmarie cried SO MUCH during the night and that I was constantly having her jaws of life clamp down on my poor nipples every 2 hours. While I wasn’t overly emotional – I did have one breakdown in the middle of the night and cried that Annmarie must already hate me because I couldn’t seem to calm her down.
We got peed on, pooped on and stumbled our way through this new thing called parenthood.
This month felt tough only because I felt so alone. Jeremy was back at work and school. I was on maternity leave. Annmarie slept a lot. But after a month, she started showing some personality and even started smiling!
She drooled so much. Everyone was sure she was teething but she didn’t actual but her first tooth for another 2 months.
At this point, I was getting much more comfortable taking Annmarie out alone. We had been going on regular walks around the park with the dogs and I became a regular customer at Target.
She also started squealing. And anyone that knows Annmarie now knows that she is a LOUD baby:
We tried solids for the first time this month. And honestly? I don’t remember much else!
Annmarie started sitting up on her own and rolling from her back to belly (and back again) this month. And this meant she could roll herself across a room (must faster than one would think).
Annmarie’s first trip to the beach! She didn’t give a crap about the water and really really wanted to eat the sand.
Annmarie continued her love of trying to put everything in her mouth.
She was also able to stand for awhile (when propped against something) and seemed to be able to play well independently.
She started crawling this month. I thought it was tough to get a handle on her when she could roll everywhere but I had NO idea what was in store for me. And while it felt like it was taking forever for her to crawl, she figured out within a WEEK, how to pull herself up to standing. This meant lots of things being removed from table tops.
First trip on an airplane and we all survived!
Annmarie was incredibly mobile this month and along with crawling and pulling herself up to standing – she was able to cruise along furniture. Nothing was safe in the house anymore.
Holy crap – a ball and a box!
I knew it was pointless to go overboard for Christmas since she was only 10 1/2 months old and didn’t have the appropriate attention span. But nobody else got that memo.
A scene from our living room after Annmarie spends 10 minutes in there. her other favorites include some of the kitchen drawers where she pulls everything out (we’ve switched out the drawers so non-breakables or sharp objects live in those drawers).
It is hard to believe that AM will almost be a year old. It is also hard to believe what a blur the delivery and first month was like. All I can remember is, “yeah – it was sort of difficult.” I totally understand why people have more babies.
With that said, I think I’ve mentioned before how I had some serious baby fever. Over the summer I broached the topic of wanting another baby ASAP. Jeremy asked politely if we could wait.
And then it reached a certain level of crazy in the Fall. Again, Jeremy asked if we could wait until he took the bar.
(but all I heard from him was, “I contain the sperm that you need.”)
However, now that Annmarie is mobile and gets into EVERYTHING… that crazy desire to have another baby RIGHT THIS MINUTE has gone away. I can’t possibly imagine managing 2 children right now. Plus we’d have to move and the cost of daycare. Don’t get me wrong, I still want another (even if one of the catalysts of that is the current situation I am in with caring for my ailing parents ALONE since I have no siblings… well, no FULL siblings and the half sibling I am in contact with wants no part in the caring).
But I’m taking a breather and enjoying AM as much as I can. Right now we think she’s on the verge of walking and I think the day she says “Mama” and attributes it to me will be the day all of the ice will have melted from my cold heart (well – my heart is just chilly now. A lot of the ice has melted away since having Annmarie).
Btw – this post seems really long to me so I apologize for all the typos and grammatical errors. My next post will be a similar setup but focus on things other than the baby.