On Judging Parents

I made a declaration a couple of weeks ago to Jeremy. I claimed that since having Annmarie, I’ve become a nicer person. And since saying that, I’ve said some really crappy things about total strangers. Whoops.

I’ve also started saying, “I really try not to judge other people’s parenting but…” Ha! I swore I would not be that parent but I’m totally turning into one. I need to cut this out. I don’t like it. That phrase is almost as annoying as, “No offense, but…” As though the first statement somehow excuses whatever cattiness comes out next.

I’m stopping it right now mostly in light of some recent comments/actions that have been made/done to me. I know that not everybody agrees with some of the stuff I do and I am happy not agreeing with some of the stuff other parents do (and I don’t make a big deal out of it). So why the comments? Why do I feel the need to dish? I think it is because I’ve been holed up with the baby for awhile and with Jeremy studying for the bar, I just need to get out more and hang with other parents with babies.

So last week, I was in Best Buy and an old woman (she said she had grandchildren) was in line behind me. She asked how old AM was and then reached over and pulled out AM’s pacifier.  Um… what?  Surprisingly, I didn’t flip out or anything and that was mostly because the woman was Indian and I totally get that whole cultural line crossing as is common with Koreans. The woman commented that pacifiers are bad and told me some story about how her grandson’s teeth are messed up because he sucks his thumb.

I sucked my thumb until I was 6. I actually remember sucking my thumb (so that should tell you that I am well aware of how long I kept at it). And my teeth are fine. I’ve never had braces. I don’t even have an oral fixation. I am FINE. But I know not everyone agrees with pacifiers.

I read some facebook comment recently from a somewhat new mom saying that she “caved” and gave her baby a pacifier. She went on about how she really didn’t want to ever give her baby a pacifier and all I could think was, “when did pacifiers equate to crystal meth?


Then at the dermatologist’s office last week (I finally went to a doc about my jacked up skin. His diagnosis? “It’s irritated.” Wow, no kidding? I’m glad I waited nearly a month to see you for that very specific diagnosis), the derm made a somewhat snide comment.

I had asked why I reacted so badly to a cream I’ve used previously with no issue. He mentioned that breastfeeding probably caused hormonal changes so I reacted differently. He then asked, “How old is your baby?” I replied, “11 months.” He scoffed at me and said, “Well you’ll be stopping that very soon, right?

Last I checked, you were a dermatologist and not a pediatrician.

So – I got checked twice last week. Therefore, I’m going to stop all my “I try not to judge other people’s parenting…” comments.

With that said, Annmarie has spent the last 2 months feeling somewhat sick. She finally seems over it and is happy nearly all the time. It is great!

She’s also started using this cheap-o walker toy that we bought last month. I just wished we had more room for it (beware – she screams RIDICULOUSLY loud at the end):

And just because this made me laugh…
So not into taking a weekly photo

Annmarie is very schedule oriented when it comes to bed time. We had neglected to take her weekly photo until the end of the day on Sunday. I figured we’d squeeze it in after her bath and before she ate. She was NOT having it.  (And this is where other parents might judge me.  I find it funny sometimes when AM cries.  Obviously not if she’s hurt but moments like the one pictured above are funny to me.)



Filed under Charm City Kim Breeds

11 responses to “On Judging Parents

  1. Oh, but I hate the judging! (Though yes, I totally do it myself too… Usually catch myself before I say anything out loud, thankfully!)

    And I do love that photo (yup, I sometimes find crying babies funny/cute/etc as well, provided they aren’t actually hurt, but rather are protesting the injustice of being!put!down! or can’t!reach!my!toy!)

  2. I would’ve been irritated by those paci & bf-ing comments, too! Some people have no filter.

    It really can be difficult to stop yourself from judging others — I’m trying to stop myself from doing it, too. I’m good about not saying stuff aloud, but the internal smack-talking is a little more than I’d like. 😉

  3. Does that mean the dermatologist didn’t give you anything for your skin?! Nor suggest another item to use for the same purpose that has different ingredients? He makes boo-coo bucks to say that to you..rawr..

    I’m not quite anti-pacifier, but I’m glad my LOs never took to them. It was a pro that I never had to ween them off of it but on the other hand, they help reduce SIDS. And breastfeeding…I understand maybe when they are 2 or 3 to get those comments, but c’mon, she’s not even 1 yet!

    Love the pic by the way.. my hubby used to love watching our oldest cry as a newborn because his lip would quiver. The joys us parents have 😉

  4. Mary

    Wow! The breastfeeding comment would have had me seeing red. I was unable to breastfeed (sad), but one and beyond is not uncommon. I will never understand the nerve of some people.

    Also, I love the screamy faced picture! 🙂

  5. WHY! Why are people so nosy? Why do they think they’re opinion MUST be heard because it’s the only possible right opinion? I’m so annoyed for you, and think it’s wise to refrain from judgment as much as you can so as not to tempt karma!

  6. CAG

    That baby has some pipes on her! And I love everything about her. Want me to translate? She said get that couch out of her effin way! LOL

    And tell your quack-derm to get off your boobs! Thank you and goodnight!
    (Tell me it was a man please…)

  7. Traci

    When we were home for the holidays Kolton was terrified of the Elmo toy once again. Even after he got used to it and played with it a ton in October he lost his mind…screaming and practically clawing at my shoulder to get away. I laughed =) Mean Mommy!

  8. The picture is adorable!

    I sure hope the derm recommended some lotion or something to help sooth your irritated skin.

  9. Chris Comito

    Crying pictures are hilarious – don’t feel bad! I’m sure you know her cries by now, so if it’s not something serious it’s ok to be amused by it, I think.

    Also – we warned you the rest of the world would have an opinion! Don’t let them bother you – so long as you’re caring for your child, do whatever works for you. All babies are different – the same thing isn’t going to work for everyone.

  10. I love the scream and the pissed-off cry picture!!!

  11. Nope, too late! Annmarie’s going to grow up to be homeless on the street, giving handjobs for cash. (Extra points for whomever gets that reference.) Might as well throw this one out and try again!

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