On Wanting a Big Family

I hung out with one of my childhood friends yesterday. I hadn’t seen her in years (because she doesn’t live in the area anymore) so when she called to say she was in the area visiting her parents, I didn’t hesitate to take a half day at work.

My friend has 5 kids. They are 8, 7, 6, 2 and 18 months old. The first 3 were born 14 months apart.

When I hear “5 kids”, I just think, “that is crazy!“, “how exhausting!“, “I couldn’t do that.

But let me tell you… my friend’s kids were SO sweet. They were rambunctious and fun. They all got along great. They all looked out for each other. They were SO sweet with Annmarie (despite Annmarie sometimes swatting at them).

Guys. It made me want a big family.

Annmarie was really beating up on the 2 year old but due to having lots of siblings (and apparently getting into many fights with his 18 month old sister), he was TOTALLY fine with Annmarie. It probably helped that he was a big kid (he wears size 5T clothing).

I asked my friend how she felt about having 5 kids and having some be so close in age. She said it was tough for a bit but that she loves how close they all are now. My friend is such a laid back mom too. She and I definitely seem to share similar parenting styles (and seeing how sweet and well adjusted her older kids are, I feel good about my parenting style).

I really wished my friend lived closer so Annmarie could have some more friends (especially more friends that looked like her… my friend’s children are also mixed Asian/white kids).

I mentioned that I’ve hit a new slew of preggo people in my life. And I’ve also mentioned that I’ve been itching for another baby for quite some time now. (I’m not pregnant, btw) But I’m currently trying to run through a list of justifications on why I shouldn’t want to be pregnant right now.

  • We need to move but we don’t know where since we need to see where Jeremy lands a sweet attorney gig.
  • I don’t want another winter baby. Being on maternity leave during the cold season sucks. I had massive cabin fever but it was too cold to go anywhere.
  • I don’t want another baby near large gift giving holidays. Even though AM’s birthday is in February, we were STILL going through her Christmas gifts. Have I mentioned we live in a tiny home? Plus, as a person with a summer birthday, I always enjoyed the nice mid year celebration with gifts.
  • I want a baby that has a birthday during the warm season so they can enjoy having birthday parties outdoors and so we can both enjoy maternity leave (by spending more time outdoors!).
  • Daycare!  While we don’t pay a ton now, doubling that is still quite a bit of money.

I know that none of you care about my list but these are things I have to keep telling myself when I get the weepies over wanting another baby RIGHTTHISSECOND.

On that note, I’ll end this post with pictures of Annmarie.

We scoped out the neighborhood park on Sunday. Normally it is littered with the neighborhood riff raff so I avoid it at all costs. But on Sunday it was empty. It was surprisingly clean (something that my neighborhood never is).

Swinging at the park
Look at those choppers!

AM Bathroom rearranging
Annmarie LOVES going through the bathroom drawers. Despite having childproof latches on them, she can still pull things out. This mess, however, was her digging through the bottom drawer that she can never open. Jeremy thinks he must have left it slightly ajar and she was able to pull the whole thing open.

AM Bathroom rearranging
I swear Annmarie has real toys but here is another day of her playing in the bathroom. This time she decided she wanted to do some light reading of Glamour, People and Men’s Health.

And this is where my friend and I share similar parenting styles. I’m big on letting Annmarie explore things and roam about the house (obviously with me still in the room or her within my line of vision). I’ve replaced all accessible drawers with non life threatening items (no knives, medication, etc.). We replaced our shoe storage just to keep it out of sight (since she always wanted to play with shoes and I didn’t like the idea of her touching the bottoms of the shoes since they’ve traversed all over the city).

I don’t want to spend her entire childhood grabbing her hands and yelling, “noooo!” I like her curiosity. I like her toddler bravery. I feel like constantly pulling her away from things and yelling, “no” will only lead to her being a nervous and skittish child. And seeing that my friend’s 5 kids are all alive and thriving, I’m confident that I’m doing the right thing for me (I know not everyone agrees).

So anywho. (stepping down from soapbox)


You may have noticed I didn’t get Pinteractive this week.  I started to (with some sewing projects) but haven’t completed anything.  Well, I completed a baby skirt out of black jersey fabric (since I bought a lot but apparently not enough to make an adult sized maxi skirt).  I followed the maxi skirt instructions loosely but made the skirt knee length on Annmarie.  But I totally f’ed up the waistband and sewed it on upside down/inside out.  So I didn’t take a picture because it looks dumb.

However, I have almost completed a toddler dress (that involved SHIRRING fabric.  I am the shirring master!).  I’m pretty excited about it because I was able to recycle a torn crib sheet into an adorable dress.  I’ll post a pic soon.



Filed under Charm City Kim Breeds

5 responses to “On Wanting a Big Family

  1. I also share a similar philosophy, so YAY for a sneak-peek on what the future holds! 🙂

    And if you ever move up to the New York area, Meeka and AM can become mixed-Asian best friends 😉 … though with luck, we’ll only be here for one more year…

  2. monsterawr

    What? No knives? How the hell else is AM going to learn to defend herself? She needs to be mastering her shanking skills while her joints are still flexible. I would start her out on a three inch blade, maybe move her to a machete once she’s feeling confident. Jesus, didn’t those parenting classes teach you anything?

  3. A couple thoughts, for what they’re worth. Big families are awesome. I have four siblings, and my parents had all five of us in about 8 years. We’re all roughly 2 years apart, and I always say my siblings are the best gift my parents ever gave me. I highly recommend it. I hope to have a big family someday, but it will probably be through a combination (hopefully) of birth children and adopted children.

    While your reasons for not wanting another baby just yet are good, I just have to say… don’t get too picky about when it happens. As in what season, month, etc. I’d hate for you to wait because you don’t want a winter baby, and then when you do try it doesn’t happen for a long time and you end up with a winter baby anyway! But a year or two later. You know what I’m talking about… it doesn’t always happen when you want it to! 🙂

  4. Traci

    I’m with you, in a perfect world I would not want to have another winter baby. I thought it was incredibly difficult to be very pregnant and have to wear heavy sweaters, coats, scarves, hats, etc. I kept thinking about how great it would be to leave the house in a sundress and sandals. It is also kind of a bummer that Kolton’s birthday is so close to Christmas. We barely get the tree down and its time for another of the year’s biggest celebrations for him. I too love my summer birthday! But do you remember that it kind of sucked not being able to celebrate at school or be forced to bring treats on your half-birthday? So in that regard I’m grateful that he’ll get to experience his B-Day with all his buddies.

  5. Robert Bolton

    Anywhere from two to four, I’d say. What’s Jeremy’s ideal number? My folks had 6 and collie dog named Tippie. Tippie, was adopted though.

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