One of the downsides of cloth diapering is dealing with certain types of poop. While most of Annmarie’s bowel movements are “solid” and easily flushable, there are times when the poop is not that cooperative.
I found myself on Monday night handwashing poop out of Annmarie’s diapers. The diaper sprayer wasn’t doing an effective job. I literally had my hands in her shit and was washing/scraping out the poopy bits in the toilet (because I can’t put it in the washing machine like that).
If that doesn’t define a mother’s love, I don’t know what does. And I sort of feel like I need to call my mom to tell her I love her.
You can say the same thing about pets. Due to the heavy rain, my dogs would not do their business outdoors. This means I came home to poop in their kennel. After scrubbing out the poop and bathing the dogs, I found myself handwashing poop out of Annmarie’s diapers again.
So there. My life has been shit for the past couple of days.
And yet despite all of this – I want another baby. Annmarie certainly keeps me on my toes and she is definitely starting to push the boundaries of her independence… but I look back on pictures of her as a newborn and get weepy. I hear of new pregnancies and my body aches a little bit. I think of my current situation as my parents’ future sole caregiver (since I’m pretty much an only child) and feel sad that I don’t have a sibling.
Guys, to quote Marisa Tomei…
my biological clock is ticking like this (imagine me stomping my foot).
If you’re wondering where this is coming from – this has been brewing for awhile but one of my favorite bloggers (whose son is a month and a half older than Annmarie) just announced her pregnancy. I’m trying not to get crazy emotional (just ask Jeremy about the first experience of trying to get pregnant – lots of hysteria on my part) but it isn’t getting any easier. I’m also staring down the age of 32. I know that isn’t ancient but once you cross 35, you get placed in a different maternal health category (i.e. you are considered a higher risk patient due to your age. ouch.)
I wish I had something more upbeat to write about but this has been eating away at me for awhile. I can’t not share this part of me because I really have nothing else to write about (outside of Annmarie stuff but I don’t want to bore everyone with just AM updates).
I’ll end this with pictures of Annmarie!
Annmarie enjoys going in the dogs’ kennel and hanging out. She usually shuts the door to the gate and sits in there for a few minutes. I think the dogs sometimes worry that she’s taking over their special space.
One of her new things that she’s been doing is grabbing my hand and pulling me to where she wants to go. If I’m sitting on the couch or the floor, she’ll grab my hand and tug until I get up. Then she’ll walk over to wherever (usually the kitchen for food).
What’s been on your mind lately?