Having a Shitty Time

One of the downsides of cloth diapering is dealing with certain types of poop. While most of Annmarie’s bowel movements are “solid” and easily flushable, there are times when the poop is not that cooperative.

I found myself on Monday night handwashing poop out of Annmarie’s diapers. The diaper sprayer wasn’t doing an effective job. I literally had my hands in her shit and was washing/scraping out the poopy bits in the toilet (because I can’t put it in the washing machine like that).

If that doesn’t define a mother’s love, I don’t know what does. And I sort of feel like I need to call my mom to tell her I love her.

You can say the same thing about pets. Due to the heavy rain, my dogs would not do their business outdoors. This means I came home to poop in their kennel. After scrubbing out the poop and bathing the dogs, I found myself handwashing poop out of Annmarie’s diapers again.

So there. My life has been shit for the past couple of days.

And yet despite all of this – I want another baby. Annmarie certainly keeps me on my toes and she is definitely starting to push the boundaries of her independence… but I look back on pictures of her as a newborn and get weepy. I hear of new pregnancies and my body aches a little bit. I think of my current situation as my parents’ future sole caregiver (since I’m pretty much an only child) and feel sad that I don’t have a sibling.

Guys, to quote Marisa Tomei…

my biological clock is ticking like this (imagine me stomping my foot).

If you’re wondering where this is coming from – this has been brewing for awhile but one of my favorite bloggers (whose son is a month and a half older than Annmarie) just announced her pregnancy. I’m trying not to get crazy emotional (just ask Jeremy about the first experience of trying to get pregnant – lots of hysteria on my part) but it isn’t getting any easier. I’m also staring down the age of 32. I know that isn’t ancient but once you cross 35, you get placed in a different maternal health category (i.e. you are considered a higher risk patient due to your age. ouch.)

I wish I had something more upbeat to write about but this has been eating away at me for awhile. I can’t not share this part of me because I really have nothing else to write about (outside of Annmarie stuff but I don’t want to bore everyone with just AM updates).

I’ll end this with pictures of Annmarie!

Hanging in the kennel
Annmarie enjoys going in the dogs’ kennel and hanging out. She usually shuts the door to the gate and sits in there for a few minutes. I think the dogs sometimes worry that she’s taking over their special space.

Fountain at Patterson Park
Walking with dad in the park

Petie waits for food

One of her new things that she’s been doing is grabbing my hand and pulling me to where she wants to go. If I’m sitting on the couch or the floor, she’ll grab my hand and tug until I get up. Then she’ll walk over to wherever (usually the kitchen for food).

What’s been on your mind lately?



Filed under Charm City Kim Breeds

7 responses to “Having a Shitty Time

  1. Sorry about all the shit you’re dealing with. (Pun-intended.)

  2. Ah, yes. True love = willingness to clean up shit. Totally been there with both the baby and the dog poop!

    And I love the hand-grabbing/pulling – Meeka’s version of this is the insistent point (since she’s not walking without holding on to something just yet) – followed by the “WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!” whine… 🙂

  3. Kel

    Although I love cloth diapers, my almost 11 month old resists getting changed so much (he won’t sit still long enough) I’ve resorted to gross disposables once a day or so out of convenience. Yuck!

    As for Baby #2, I am completely weepy over Max’s 1 year bday coming up in June. I know I’d like another one, but am unsure of the timing.

    Good luck!

  4. Robert Bolton

    I think sincerely telling your mother this Mother’s Day that you love her would mean a lot to her.

  5. monsterawr

    This is quite possibly the most terrifying post I’ve ever read. The second part scares me because I am terrified of my own clock and its power, and the first part scares me because that’s what will happen if I cave to said clock. Moral of the story, I’ll be washing today’s birth control pill down with a rum and coke.

    That being said, I am in love with your baby. The fact that she hangs out in the dog’s cage? Fantastic. I love it. And she’s so freakin’ adorable that it almost makes me sick. Seriously, if I could get something that looked like her to use a littler box and eat from a bowl on the floor I’d adopt one right now.

  6. I’m staring down 32 and haven’t had my first child yet, so I know how you feel! Or I think I do at least. I’m sorry, I know it sucks. I hope you get all the things you want soon!

  7. Abigail Keesey

    Baby clothes that are light in colors are always the best for babies. ^

    <a href="Our favorite web-site

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