My gym spotlights individual members every few months and features their Q&A on a large bulletin board.
Last month, one of the gym staffers told me that I was going to be the next featured member. I was flattered at first and then felt like the queen of the douchebags when it came time to answer the 6 simply questions.
Do I try to be funny? Do I try to appear serious about working out? Do I mention my diet and how I think killing and consuming animals is just plain mean? What?
Ladies and gents, I bring you my Q&A. I looked at it on the bulletin board today and realized that I totally came off as an unfunny, take myself too seriously, condescending turd (with some bonus commentary).
Q: How long have you been working out?
A: I started working out consistently about 8 years ago.
This is true. I only started working out during my 3rd year in college where my love of the combination Taco Bell/KFC had caught up with me. Prior to 2001, my activities included: faking asthma attacks so that I would not have to run the 2 mile warm-up during the lacross tryouts, biking less than a mile to my friend’s house (before I got a car, obviously) and eating an extra large pizza by myself.
Q: How many days per week do you work out?
A: I work out between 6-7 days a week. Right now it’s usually 6 days of true workouts and I try to be active on the 7th day.
Sadly – this is true. I think I sound like a bit of a psychopath here. I workout just about every day. Sundays are not always consistent but I do try to squeeze in some form of a workout. I even work out on vacation. VACATION. I’m going to Chicago this weekend and made sure that the hotel had a gym. Sad.
Q: What does your workout consist of?
A: Lately it consists of running, biking and p90x!
Okay – I choked. I didn’t know what to write. Why did I feel the need to add the exclamation point? I also meant to write swimming. And shopping.
Q: What are some overall results you’ve experienced from your lifestyle of health and fitness?
A: I’ve lost the college weight that I gained and have maintained that weight loss over the years. Also after recently completing the p90x, I saw a drop in my body fat percentage.
But overall – I just feel better, stronger, energized and am much happier. I’m also much more active now than I ever was growing up and I love it.
Ugh – really? I used the term “energized”? I feel like an infomercial. I should have written something along the lines of being completely batshit crazy about ever getting close to my peak weight ever again. How bad was it? Jeremy didn’t recognize me in one of my pictures during that phase in my life.
Q: What is your motivation or a motivator for being consistent in your fitness commitment, as well as reaching your fitness related goals?
A: After gaining 20 lbs in college, I decided I needed to do something about it. 8 years later, I now just love how I feel being active!
For 2009, my husband and I decided at the beginning of the year that we would participate in at least one race a month and this has helped to keep me motivated with running. Also – I’ve decided to challenge myself with a triathlon and a marathon this year. I think the idea of being so close to 30 has made me want to push my body to its physical limits. Hopefully I’ll survive!
I love the exclamation points. And apparently I cannot reiterate how much I love being active. I! love! being! active! I! am! so! happy! Can’t! you! tell! from! my! exclamation! points!?
And that crap about pushing my body to its physical limits? I really meant, “I’m going through a tri-life crisis (thanks for the term, Michelle!) and therefore am physically punishing myself so that I can prove to the world that I am NOT old and that I am ridiculously fit and fabulous.”
Q: Are you involved in any other physical activities that promote health and wellness?
A: I play in a few adult rec leagues (broomball, kickball) and just try to stay active as much as I can (walking my dogs, biking around the city, walking instead of driving somewhere, etc).
Aside from trying to lead an active lifestyle, I am a vegetarian. While I am not a vegan, I limit the amount of dairy I consume. I also try to eat mostly organic food and avoid fast food/junk food as much as possible.
I spent a really long time coming up with an answer to this question. Do I really count kickball and broomball as working out? I don’t even sweat during these games. Broomball is more about knocking other people down and getting out my frustrations in life on strangers in a totally legal way.
Also – that crap about my diet. I didn’t know where to draw the line. I come off a bit pretentious here – “I only eat orgaaaanic” but I really wanted to write about how crazy I’ve become in terms of fearing for my health, the health of Jeremy and our future children so I avoid eating things that I think have been covered in chemicals and injected with weirdo hormones and magic to make them bigger and more colorful. And don’t even get me started on the crazy shit that is happening to animals in slaughterhouses… AND how contaminated most meat is (although I don’t care about that aspect so much as the murdering of animals). But I figured this wasn’t the place to get all “I’m crazy” since it is just supposed to be a nice spotlight on a gym member – not a spotlight on an overactive gym psychopath that can’t look at a piece of meat without crying or a monster sized strawberry without thinking I’ll contract cancer if I touch it.