Tag Archives: crazy

Germs Germs Everywhere

I love Dr. Oz.  Anytime I knew that he’d be on Oprah, I’d DVR it because I love him.  I want him to be my doctor. 

When Oprah announced that Dr. Oz was getting his own show, I was stoked!  And I was sure to set my DVR to record Dr. Oz’s shows.

While I still love Dr. Oz… I’m starting to not like him anymore.  Mind you – he’s still the loveable and knowledgeable doc we’ve all grown to love and appreciate but now he’s turned me into a crazed germaphobe

Holy hell – he did a segment yesterday about the germs in your purse.  Jesus Christ – I don’t think I’ll ever carry my handbag again.

My cell phone?  I’m surprised I haven’t died from whatever germs are lurking on it.

He also did a segment about underwear and discussed the problems with THONGS.  OMG… I will risk visible panty lines to avoid poop creeping up my undies into my susie.  And did you know that you shouldn’t wash your undies with your regular laundry because of POOP?!  What the hell?

I feel like I can’t leave the house without a mask and rubber gloves anymore. 

As if I didn’t have enough issues with hugging people because I get all weirded out by others invading my personal space… I’ll never touch another person again until I’ve seen evidence of them being wiped down with rubbing alcohol.

He recommended a UV Wand to kill germs.  I think this might go on my Christmas list. 

And okay – so I’m not really that crazy.  I am the type of person that refuses to use the antibacterial hand sanitizer that is all over my office because I am convinced that people are just breeding a superbug.  I’m all for developing immunities naturally. 

I’m just saying it was gross to hear just how dirty we are and the people featured on his show weren’t nearly as dirty as me.  I’ll admit it.  My purse finds itself on the ground quite a bit.  My keyboard at work?  Crusted over with food (yes, gross).  My mouse?  Same thing.  Food crust.  Actually just about every thing I come into contact with (especially handles… like to my fridge or dishwasher) have some level of food crust on them.  I eat a lot, what can I say?

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Affection

I looked up the race times of a couple that I know that recently completed their first half marathon.  And if you’re wondering if I’ve ever looked up your race time, yes – I have.  If I know you’ve run a race and I know your name – I most likely have looked you up in Athlinks.  I can’t help it – I’m a curious person.

I’m very proud of this couple for doing something that they’ve never done before (and also because I am embarking upon the same physical journey!).

Anyways – the purpose of this post is that I was floored to see that they had the same finish time.  The same time… down to the second.  What amazes me is that this means they truly went through the race together.  They accomplished this feat together.  They pushed each other throughout and finished TOGETHER.

This probably doesn’t amaze anyone else but I have never finished a race with Jeremy.  He just runs so much faster than I do (even when he’s injured).  Let’s take a look at some recent race times:

Zooma 10k

Me – 1:05:14 / Jeremy - 43:45

Baltimore 10-miler

Me – 1:44:29 / Jeremy - 1:16:44

Dundalk 6k

Me: 33:01 / Jeremy – 24:43

Clearly I am much much slower.  And even if Jeremy did run with me, I truly believe he’d still cut ahead just at the last second to beat me. 

What can I say, he’s competitive.

So the idea that a couple would run something completely together was really sweet.  Then I started to think about affection in general and realized (well, it wasn’t an epiphany or anything – I’ve always known this) that I’m not an affectionate person. 

Jeremy is really affectionate.

Where does this come from?  Is this something we get from our parents?  Jeremy’s parents are very affectionate with each other.  My parents?  Not so much although my mom is super affectionate with me AND Jeremy (she tried to kiss him on the mouth once… talk about awkward).

So you’d think having a super affectionate mother would make me love to hug people but it doesn’t.  Did growing up not seeing my parents be affectionate with one another switch off my affection switch?

I love my husband.  I love my family.  I love my friends.  I just don’t feel the need to hug and touch them all the time… or even some of the time. 

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I’ll hold Jeremy’s hand or “snuggle” but generally I’m happy sitting on the other end of the couch while watching tv.

So where do you fall?  Are you an affectionate person?  Were your parents affectionate with each other?  Am I the only weirdo with boundaries?

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In the Spotlight

My gym spotlights individual members every few months and features their Q&A on a large bulletin board. 

Last month, one of the gym staffers told me that I was going to be the next featured member.  I was flattered at first and then felt like the queen of the douchebags when it came time to answer the 6 simply questions.

Do I try to be funny?  Do I try to appear serious about working out?  Do I mention my diet and how I think killing and consuming animals is just plain mean?  What?

Ladies and gents, I bring you my Q&A.  I looked at it on the bulletin board today and realized that I totally came off as an unfunny, take myself too seriously, condescending turd (with some bonus commentary).

Q:  How long have you been working out?

A:   I started working out consistently about 8 years ago. 

This is true.  I only started working out during my 3rd year in college where my love of the combination Taco Bell/KFC had caught up with me.  Prior to 2001, my activities included: faking asthma attacks so that I would not have to run the 2 mile warm-up during the lacross tryouts, biking less than a mile to my friend’s house (before I got a car, obviously) and eating an extra large pizza by myself.

Q:  How many days per week do you work out?

A:  I work out between 6-7 days a week.  Right now it’s usually 6 days of true workouts and I try to be active on the 7th day.

Sadly – this is true.  I think I sound like a bit of a psychopath here.  I workout just about every day.  Sundays are not always consistent but I do try to squeeze in some form of a workout.  I even work out on vacation.  VACATION.  I’m going to Chicago this weekend and made sure that the hotel had a gym.  Sad.

Q:  What does your workout consist of?

A:  Lately it consists of running, biking and p90x!

Okay – I choked.  I didn’t know what to write.  Why did I feel the need to add the exclamation point?  I also meant to write swimming.  And shopping. 

Q:  What are some overall results you’ve experienced from your lifestyle of health and fitness?

A:  I’ve lost the college weight that I gained and have maintained that weight loss over the years.  Also after recently completing the p90x, I saw a drop in my body fat percentage.

But overall – I just feel better, stronger, energized and am much happier.  I’m also much more active now than I ever was growing up and I love it.

Ugh – really?  I used the term “energized”?  I feel like an infomercial.  I should have written something along the lines of being completely batshit crazy about ever getting close to my peak weight ever again.  How bad was it?  Jeremy didn’t recognize me in one of my pictures during that phase in my life. 

Q:  What is your motivation or a motivator for being consistent in your fitness commitment, as well as reaching your fitness related goals?

A:  After gaining 20 lbs in college, I decided I needed to do something about it.  8 years later, I now just love how I feel being active! 

For 2009, my husband and I decided at the beginning of the year that we would participate in at least one race a month and this has helped to keep me motivated with running.  Also – I’ve decided to challenge myself with a triathlon and a marathon this year.  I think the idea of being so close to 30 has made me want to push my body to its physical limits.  Hopefully I’ll survive!

I love the exclamation points.  And apparently I cannot reiterate how much I love being active.  I! love! being! active!  I! am! so! happy!  Can’t! you! tell! from! my! exclamation! points!?

And that crap about pushing my body to its physical limits?  I really meant, “I’m going through a tri-life crisis (thanks for the term, Michelle!) and therefore am physically punishing myself so that I can prove to the world that I am NOT old and that I am ridiculously fit and fabulous.”

Q:  Are you involved in any other physical activities that promote health and    wellness?

A:  I play in a few adult rec leagues (broomball, kickball) and just try to stay active as much as I can (walking my dogs, biking around the city, walking instead of driving somewhere, etc). 

Aside from trying to lead an active lifestyle, I am a vegetarian.  While I am not a vegan, I limit the amount of dairy I consume.  I also try to eat mostly organic food and avoid fast food/junk food as much as possible.

I spent a really long time coming up with an answer to this question.  Do I really count kickball and broomball as working out?  I don’t even sweat during these games.  Broomball is more about knocking other people down and getting out my frustrations in life on strangers in a totally legal way.

Also – that crap about my diet.  I didn’t know where to draw the line.  I come off a bit pretentious here – “I only eat orgaaaanic” but I really wanted to write about how crazy I’ve become in terms of fearing for my health, the health of Jeremy and our future children so I avoid eating things that I think have been covered in chemicals and injected with weirdo hormones and magic to make them bigger and more colorful.  And don’t even get me started on the crazy shit that is happening to animals in slaughterhouses… AND how contaminated most meat is (although I don’t care about that aspect so much as the murdering of animals).  But I figured this wasn’t the place to get all “I’m crazy” since it is just supposed to be a nice spotlight on a gym member – not a spotlight on an overactive gym psychopath that can’t look at a piece of meat without crying or a monster sized strawberry without thinking I’ll contract cancer if I touch it.

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